Stuck Together
by Sixty Five Roses
Summary: Rusty gives Sharon a very special Christmas gift that changes their lives more than they expected.
1. Chapter 1

Rusty has never given a Christmas gift to anyone before. His mother was not much of a holiday person and he never felt the need to give anything to her anyway. But he did feel a strong need to buy Sharon Raydor a gift. She's been so good to him and had put up with so much of his problems, which she actually preferred to call 'challenges'. Whatever his issues were called, he knew just what she needed.

Rusty entered the house with a big carton gift box in his hands. Sharon was not there yet and he wondered how he was going to present this one specific gift to her. There were still a few more days before Christmas, but he couldn't put it under the tree. In the meantime, he decided to put the box in his room, until she arrived. He opened the lid just a little bit and looked inside. _Yes, this was definitely what Sharon needed. _He thought and left the lid slightly open.

Sharon unlocked the door, hung her coat and threw her purse on the chest that stood in the hall. The sight of the Christmas tree she and Rusty put up a week earlier made her feel warm and welcomed. She usually didn't put up a Christmas tree, but this year she didn't plan on visiting her family in Salt Lake City and spending the holiday in LA meant hosting the holiday season in her living room. A fuzzy feeling spread in her body when she recalled the glow in Rusty's eyes when she had connected the Christmas lights to the electric outlet in the wall and the whole room lit up. They sat together on the couch that evening, drinking hot chocolate and Sharon listened to Rusty talk about his past experiences of Christmas. _Where is Rusty?_ Sharon suddenly remembered. The house was very quiet and Rusty should have been home hours ago.

"Rusty," she called out, a little worried. She was very busy at work and she forgot to call him and find out that he came back home. She walked down the hall and knocked on his door. She heard a noise inside and let out a sigh of relief. He opened the door and smiled at her mischievously.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. She didn't like that smile. He was hiding something and that could never be a good thing.

"Yes, everything's great." Rusty shrugged.

"Are you sure?" Sharon looked askance.

"Actually, you should come in." Rusty said and opened the door wider. "I have something for you."

"For me?" Sharon arched her eyebrows. She entered his room and saw a big gift on the bed.

"It's for you," Rusty said, "an early Christmas present." Sharon looked at him suspiciously and contemplated whether she should open the box or not.

"Rusty, this better not be a trick," she warned him.

"I promise it isn't." he said. Sharon squinted and slowly shoved her fingers under the lid. "Come on, open it." Rusty urged her. Sharon lifted the lid off the box and looked inside it hesitantly. A small black and brown dog with fluffy fur was sleeping calmly inside the box.

"Oh, no!" Sharon took a step back. "This thing doesn't stay in this house another moment."

"Come on, Sharon, just look at that puppy. It's adorable." Rusty said. He expected her to react this way.

"Dogs make mess, Rusty." Sharon tried to keep her cool. "And I hate mess," Rusty sighed theatrically and a disappointed expression registered across his face.

"I always suspected that you're a cat lady." he sighed.

"I am not a cat lady!" Sharon exclaimed.

"Oh, no?" Rusty had prepared this speech in advance. She was just so predictable. "You live alone, you have no friends and your family never visits, not even on the holidays."

"You're being unfair, Rusty." Sharon said quietly.

"Fair or not, this is the truth." Rusty went on, "And I brought you **a friend** that will give you unconditional love. You might find it rewarding to come home and have someone greeting you." Sharon sighed; Rusty had a point. She peeped into the box again.

"So… is it a male or a female?" she asked.

"It's a female." Rusty replied, "She's still a puppy, so she doesn't have a name yet." He informed her. "And she's going to be great for you, because she's an Australian Terrier and this breed doesn't shed any fur. I thought you'd like that."

"It's very thoughtful of you, Rusty, thank you." Sharon replied, still overwhelmed.

"You can pick her up," Rusty said. Sharon looked at him as if he suggested that she'll jump out of the window. "Are you scared of dogs, Sharon?" he teased her.

"Of course not," Sharon replied, frowning.

"You've never had a dog in your life, have you?" Rusty grinned, taking a little pleasure at the discomfort that Sharon displayed.

"No, I have not." she admitted.

"A dog is like a baby, you've had those, right?" Sharon nodded slowly. "They like to be cuddled and especially this puppy. It's her first night without her mother," Rusty offered her the saddest gaze he could come up with. Sharon squinted. She was not easily fooled by Rusty's attempt to manipulate her. "Come on, pick her up."

"But it's sleeping," she looked a little helpless.

"So what?" Rusty shrugged, "Haven't you ever picked up a sleeping baby?"

"Okay," Sharon took a deep breath and gathered all of her courage, which she seemed to need. She sent her arms into the box and gently lifted the puppy in her arms. The puppy woke up and looked sleepily into her eyes, slowly melting her from the inside. Sharon had held babies before, but holding a puppy felt different. It was warmer and softer and even much lighter than a baby. "She's cute. Thank you, Rusty." She never even considered getting a dog, not even when her children were little and asked for one.

"You should give her a name." Rusty said.

"I can't. I don't know her yet." Sharon replied.

"I hope you didn't wait to get to know your kids before naming them." Rusty grinned. "Come on, it's not rocket science. I'll help you. Let's think about something you really like."

"I like ballet." Sharon said.

"Great. Do you like any specific dancer?"

"Lyudmila Kostomarova," Sharon replied. Rusty looked appalled.

"Okay, maybe not a dancer." he said, "What's your favorite ballet play?"

"Giselle," Sharon replied.

"Like the model?" Rusty asked. "Never mind, forget about it. What about your favorite Shakespeare play?"

"Hamlet," Sharon sighed. At the rate they were going they would take a year to find a name. "And before you ask my favorite character is Ophelia, but I don't like this name for the dog."

"Well, the dog is a Christmas gift, so maybe you should name the dog after the holiday?"

"I'm not going to call my dog Jingle-Bells. It sounds silly. I don't want a silly dog."

"Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen?" Sharon shook her head.

"Christmas will be over and the dog will have the name of a reindeer? Come on, Rusty, there must be another way to find a name." She sighed and was about to put the dog back in the box as she noticed a newspaper which was used as the dog's bedding at the bottom of the box. She picked it up and looked at it. Under the photo in the front page, she saw the name of the photographer who took it, Malin Gerhard. "Rusty, look at that." She handed him the paper and pointed at the name under the photo.

"You want to name the dog Gerhard?" Rusty made a face.

"No, we're going to call her Malin." Sharon replied, "Don't you think it sounds really nice?"

"Yeah, it's good." Rusty smiled and caressed the dog's head. "Welcome home, Malin," he said. Sharon looked at Malin and then at Rusty. She wasn't sure whether Rusty used Christmas as an excuse to get a dog or really wanted to give her a four-legged friend as a gift, but now they accepted this new, unexpected member to their family.


	2. Chapter 2

Sharon's alarm clock rang at 5 AM. It was the second time she has gotten up tonight to take the dog out for a walk. She barely got any sleep and felt a headache forming in the back of her head. After slipped her coat over her pajamas and pushing her feet into her uggs, she grabbed Malin's leash and gently patted the dog on the head. Malin lifted her head and looked at her with sleepy eyes.

"Don't look at me this way," Sharon sighed, "I'm also tired, but you need to be housetrained." She attached the leash to Malin's collar.

The pavements were wet with the night's heavy rain and the street was empty. There was barely any traffic and even the sun didn't fully rise yet and gave a pale glow. Even though she was exhausted, she was able to find comfort in the empty street and the walk with Malin soothed her. At these odd hours, she had some quiet time to rearrange her thoughts. For a complete neat freak, she had quite a mess inside her head.

* * *

Rusty knocked on Sharon's door for a few times before he decided to open it and enter her room. Sharon's head was buried under the pillow and he gently put his hand on her shoulder.

"Sharon, you have to take me to school." he said in frustration. It was getting late.

"What time is it?" Sharon's sleepy voice was muffled by the pillow.

"It's almost 8," Rusty replied. Sharon moaned and pulled her head from under the pillow and jumped in panic when she saw a tiny, fury little monster curled against the curve of her waist.

"What is she doing here?" she mumbled. Rusty tried to hold himself from laughing, but the ends of his lips still curved upwards against his will.

"She's a puppy, Sharon. She thinks you're her mother." he said. "How many times did you take her out during the night?"

"Twice," Sharon yawned and gently lifted Malin in her arms. "And it seems she will be coming with us. I don't trust her with my shoes." She slipped her feet into the uggs, which she had kicked off her legs when she came back with Malin from the walk earlier.

"Come on, let's go." she said.

* * *

Sharon was happy to take a long, relaxing shower at the end of the day. She put her head under the stream of water and closed her eyes, enjoying the water flowing down her shoulders and back, calming her nerves. For her, the simple pleasures mattered and she certainly considered her evening shower as such. Suddenly, she heard loud thuds against the door. It was disturbing and quite alarming as well. She turned the tap off and grabbed her towel.

"Sharon, you have to get out of there right now!" She heard Rusty's voice. The steam from her shower started to clear off and she could smell an unpleasant smell.

"Rusty, what's going on?" Without even wiping herself dry, she pulled a dark tank top over her head.

"You have to come out right now, Sharon, even with your towel. I'm serious!" Something was definitely off. She pulled up the flannel pajama pants and opened the door.

"What happened?" as soon as she opened the door she could see thick black smoke encompassing them. It penetrated her lungs and eyes.

"I have your shoes and phone; let's get out of here, now." He would grab her arm and pull her if his hands weren't full. He was lucky that Malin was small enough to be shoved into one of Sharon's uggs.

"Go, Rusty. I'm right behind you." she said, coughing. They ran out of the apartment and used the emergency staircase to leave the building, with the smoke surrounding them.

It didn't take them more than a few minutes to leave the building, but it felt longer.

Outside, Sharon made sure that Rusty has made it out and she sighed in relief. Malin's head peeked out of Sharon's ugg and Rusty took her out and handed Sharon her boots. She put them on her bare feet. Looking up at the building, they could see that the 10th, 11th and 12th floors were burning.

"Are you okay?" Rusty asked when he heard her cough. He had covered his nose with his shirt as he was going down the stairs and even though he felt an unpleasant tingle in his lungs, he could still breathe normally. Malin didn't seem to be affected either.

"Call Lieutenant Flynn," Sharon whizzed, "Tell him to pick you up. If he doesn't answer call Buzz," she felt dizzy and faint, but she tried her best to act normally for Rusty. She didn't want to scare him, even though the inability to breathe was quite frightening for her as well. "I'm going to go over there to get some treatment," she said and pointed at one of the many ambulances that were parking in front of the building. Rusty followed her, knowing very well that smoke inhalation is very dangerous and that Sharon was not sounding good at all. As the paramedics laid Sharon on a gurney and put an oxygen mask on her face, Rusty found Flynn in Sharon's contact list and called him, giving him basic details of what has happened.

"What hospital are we going to?" he asked the paramedic and immediately informed Flynn who said he'd meet them there. The paramedic was not too keen to let Rusty ride with them to the hospital while holding Malin in his arms, but Rusty convinced him. Sharon was still conscious and he squeezed her hand. The paramedics put an IV in her arm and connected her to a beeping device that Rusty assumed was a cardiac monitor. The thoughts raced through Rusty's mind. If they stayed in the apartment for another minute, they could both be dead. He had no doubt that people died in this fire and while he felt incredibly lucky, he was still terrified of what might happen to Sharon, whose disorientation seemed to be growing by the minute.


	3. Chapter 3

Andy unlocked the door to his house and invited Rusty and Sharon in. His house was not huge, but it was a cozy place and he hoped that the Captain and Rusty would feel comfortable staying with him. Rusty walked into the house and Sharon followed him. Her arms were wrapped around Malin's body as if the dog was what helped her holding herself together.

She looked around her. Flynn's house seemed to be clean and neat. She could handle that for a day or two. _Only until I feel better_, she thought. Andy's living room was big, much bigger than hers and it felt warm. He also had a big fireplace. The living room was a bit too decorated for Christmas. _Men, _she thought, _they never know when to stop_.

"Let me give you the grand tour," Andy said and Sharon nodded absent-mindedly. The last thing on her mind was to explore the lieutenant's house. She was still overwhelmed by the situation; in a split second, she became homeless and nearly lost her life and all she was able to feel was a deep and utter uncertainty. "So, this is the living room." he stated the obvious and walked down the hall, "This is the guest room, Rusty will be sleeping here." He offered her a comforting smile and she made an enormous effort to smile back. "The last room in the hall is the bedroom, you'll be staying there."

"Thank you, but I won't be taking your bed from you. I'll be sleeping on the couch." Sharon replied. "Don't argue." Her decisive tone made Andy grin.

"And this is the bathroom." He pointed at a door on the other side of the hall. Sharon nodded slowly.

"Andy, I want to thank you for your generous offer to host Rusty and me. I hope we didn't ruin your holiday plans." she said.

"Are you kidding, Captain? I'm sure having the two of you around here on Christmas is going to be the highlight of my holiday." Andy's voice was cheerful and Sharon made another attempt to smile.

"I wish the circumstances were happier," she said.

"I'm sure everything will be okay, Captain. Think about the bright side, you're alive and mostly well." Andy smiled. "Listen, I know it probably feels weird and awkward to have to stay here, but I want you to feel comfortable here; mi casa es tu casa." Sharon thanked him again. Malin whimpered and she caressed her fur gently. "Funny," Andy said with a grin.

"What?"

"You never struck me as a dog person. I always thought you were a cat lady." he said.


	4. Chapter 4

Sharon was sitting on the couch with Malin in her lap and staring at the Christmas tree in Flynn's living room. It was huge and each of the branches was decorated with ornaments, candy canes and colorful Christmas lights. The softly-flickering light gave the room a warm glow. Flynn came into the room and handed her a mug with hot chocolate. The smell of the warm liquid drew her away from her thoughts and she curled her fingers around the mug, relishing its warmth. He took a seat beside her, smiling at her.

"The last person I thought I'll ever get to see daydreaming is you," It was clear to him that she was shaken and scared. He's never seen her like this before.

"I'm just… I have too many thoughts." Her voice was almost a whisper and it was full of despair.

"I assume you're not one of those people who easily share their feelings, but maybe if you speak about it, you'll feel a bit better." Andy offered. Sharon brought the mug to her lips and took a little sip from the hot chocolate.

"I don't know what to say." Sharon said, trying hard to sound normal, but her voice was broken. Her emotions were seeping through her voice and she has lost the ability to control it.

"When people come to an AA meeting for the first time, their feelings are raw. They say words like sad, happy, good, bad. It's all black and white, even though their feelings are much more complex." Andy offered an insight. "I say, start with the simple words." Sharon closed her eyes and remained this way for a moment. Andy was always amazed by Sharon's ability to dominate her emotions. He never met anyone with such incredible self-control before; no matter what horrible events were thrown her way, she was always so together. Looking at her sitting on his couch with her eyes shut and her lashes slowly becoming moist with tears was different. It touched him deeply. The expression on her face was painful and exposed her inner struggles.

"Dammit." she said when she opened her eyes and sniffled.

"That's a start." Flynn urged her.

"I want to scream." she gathered all of her strength, "and throw things."

"You're angry." Flynn gave it a name.

"Frustrated," Sharon corrected him, "I'm homeless, right before Christmas." her voice cracked. "I bought gifts for Rusty and I wanted so much to watch him open them," She tried hard to hold her tears back.

"You want to throw things, you said?" Andy dared to smile. Sharon wiped her tears and looked at him. "Come with me and bring the puppy with you. I have an idea." Sharon gently picked up Malin from her lap and followed Andy. He headed to the kitchen and went out of the back door. It led to an empty patio. Even though it seemed out of use, it was neat and clean.

"What are we doing here?" Sharon asked.

"We're gonna teach the puppy to play fetch." Andy declared. "Get down on your knees." Sharon looked at him suspiciously but did as he said. She could feel the coldness of the concrete floor through the fabric of her pants. Andy also got down on his knees and handed her a soft ball. Sharon arched her eyebrows. "It's really easy. First you have to get her interest in the ball." he instructed her.

"How do I do that?" Sharon asked.

"You need to show her the ball and once she sees it, you need to move it from side to side. She'll try to follow your hand and get the ball." Andy explained, "And you need to sound really excited about this ball. Enthusiasm is contagious." Sharon did as he instructed and Malin followed her hand, quickly jumping from side to side and trying to release the ball from Sharon's grip. "That's great." Andy encouraged her. "Now, the next step is to show her the ball and drop it at your feet. She should try to grab it." Sharon did as he said and Malin leaped for the ball and grabbed it in her mouth. "That's great. Now tell her to drop it."

"Malin, drop!" Sharon commanded in her cop-tone. Malin seemed to ignore her.

"Try again," Andy said. "And this time try to sound more friendly."

"Malin, drop!" Sharon said, trying to keep her voice enthusiastic. Malin dropped the ball to the ground and Andy pulled a treat from his pocket and gave it to the dog. "You always walk around with snacks in your pocket?" Sharon wondered.

"I took it from the kitchen while we were walking out here." His words made Sharon shrug. It was not like her to miss little details such as this. "Do it again." Sharon took the ball and dropped it at her feet.

"Go get it, Malin!" she called out and Malin obeyed. "Drop it." Malin looked at her for a second and then dropped the ball. Sharon took the snack from Andy's hand, her fingers gently brushing against the skin of his palm. It was warm and smooth, _the kind of hands that I would enjoy holding_, she thought. "Good girl!" she gave the treat to Malin. They repeated that step a few times.

"Stand up," Andy instructed her, reaching out to her hand and helping her up from the ground. The mere touch of his palm against hers sent a pleasant yet almost electric shiver down her spine. She felt her cheeks becoming warm. It hasn't happened to her in a long time and it caught her off-guard. She looked at him and made her best efforts to hide the surprise she was feeling at this weird emotion that crept into her heart all of the sudden. _I should not deal with it now,_ she thought. "Now you have to drop the ball at your feet and when she grabs it, you have to walk backwards. That way, she follows you." Andy continued completely unaware of the sudden surge of emotions that was washing Sharon from the inside. Sharon nodded and dropped the ball to the ground. Andy's training method seemed to work, she wondered where he learned it. "Okay, I think she's got the idea." Andy said after they repeated that step a few times. "Now you can throw the ball and she should get it for you." Sharon didn't want to throw anything anymore. She just wanted to… _What the hell did she want?_ She could no longer tell. This abrupt lack of control over what was happening to her was infuriating. She threw the ball and Malin sprinted across the patio and retrieved it, dropping it at Sharon's feet. Sharon picked it up and threw the ball again, focusing all of her anger into her throw. Malin seemed to enjoy it and Andy watched her, examining the way she moved her arm, the way her thin wrist flexed forward when her fingers released the ball. She was good at freestyle pitching. If she was willing to learn, he could teach her another way to throw the ball, without bending her wrist so much. Her technique might have been off, but her throws were swift and very precise. He wondered if she would be willing to join the Major Crimes unit's baseball team. They could really use her as a pitcher.


	5. Chapter 5

Sharon usually liked Christmas, but this year was different. Despite of Andy's genuine attempts to make her feel welcome in his house, she didn't feel at home and she was still upset by the fact that she didn't have any Christmas gift for Rusty. She felt so helpless. Everything she owned was left behind in her apartment. She didn't even have access to her own money, because her wallet with her credit cards, identification card, her driving license and many other documents were left in the house. She also needed to get a hold of her insurance documents, so she could file a fire damage insurance claim, but everything was in her apartment. She didn't even know the extent of the damage, but she had little hopes that anything she had actually survived the fire.

Andy thought it would help Sharon if she had something to do; she was lingering on her pain too much and he felt it was unhealthy for her. He suggested that they surprise Rusty and cook a Christmas dinner together and she agreed. It would be a great experience to get to know her lieutenant better and she was also curious about his cooking skills. He made the stuffing for the turkey and she made creamy sweet potatoes. They worked side by side, his silence calming her down. It was the same kind of silences she and Rusty shared from time to time, inspiring and meditative. Concentrating on the dish she was cooking made her forget, just for a brief moment that she was homeless and helpless. Cooking made her feel useful and creative and in control.

Christmas dinner passed by quietly and calmly, not that any of them expected anything different. Afterwards, they sat and played scrabble. The game seemed to waken something in Sharon who won by spelling the word 'earthquake'. It was her current state of mind, shaky and uncertain, she thought. How could she spell a different word on the board when her own earthquake unsettled her insides? But this word made her win the game and she didn't want to play anymore. She considered going to the patio with Malin and play fetch, just to let her frustration out, but that would be impolite. Rusty, who seemed to notice her murky mood, had had enough. He decided to call it a night, quickly helping Flynn to put the game board and the letters back in their box and leaving the two of them alone in the living room.

"He seems upset," Andy said.

"It was just a game. I don't know why he's taking it so seriously." Sharon replied, obviously too immersed in her own sorrow to see the real reason for Rusty's mood.

"That's not the reason, you know it." Andy indicated, "He's upset because of you. It's Christmas Eve and you haven't made a single effort to smile or be happy. I know that losing your home is difficult, but you need to change your attitude towards this."

"Andy, I don't want to talk about it." Sharon replied.

"I knew you'd say that." Andy smiled, "But what you don't know is that I have just the thing that will cheer you up." He asked her to close her eyes and she heard him leaving the room. She sat there, with her eyes still closed, savoring the silence around her. He came back a moment later and she heard some rustling from under the tree. "You can open your eyes now." he said. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at the tree. There were five gifts, carefully wrapped under it.

"Andy, you really shouldn't have bought us gifts." she said.

"I didn't buy them," Andy said, "you did."

"But I left them at my apartment, under our tree, and there were only 4 of them. How did they become 5?" Sharon wondered.

"A friend of mine is investigating the fire in your building and he let me into your apartment. I figured I'll see if I could save anything and this is what I could get. The guys at the unit re-wrapped them and the 5th gift is a surprise." Sharon flung herself against Flynn's body, tears of joy welling in her eyes.

"Thank you, Andy." she said over and over again. She was speechless and could barely think of anything else but Rusty getting his gifts after all. The hug was becoming too close for her. She could feel the heat that was radiating from the skin under his clothes and it made her shiver. He must have noticed it, because he pulled away from her.

"Would you like me to light the fire in the hearth?" he asked.

"No fire, please. The last thing I wanna see is fire." she replied. They took a seat on the couch and Andy had told her about the damages he spotted out in her apartment. Her apartment mostly had smoke damages, there was no sign that the fire actually spread into the apartment and he assumed that the insurance company will pay for the renovations.

Andy watched her intently and smiled to himself. Seeing her bad mood evaporating out of sight made him happy. Since they started working together, he felt a little closer to her and got to know her personality and her ways a little better. Having her in his house, even if the circumstances were dejecting, made his heart quiver in a way that he forgot was even possible. It seemed that the feeling was mutual. He first noticed it when she took his hand in the patio the previous night. Some kind of electric current transferred between them when their hands touched and for a brief moment she blushed, even though she quickly managed to conceal it. There was a certain risk involved, he thought, but he was going to take the chance.

Hearing that things were not as bad as she expected them to be encouraged Sharon. She could barely contain the happiness inside her. Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweating and she closed her eyes, for just a moment, trying to control the feelings that erupted inside her in concert. It was then when the smell of his aftershave struck her nose and the warmth of his fingers set on her cheek. His lips followed right after, molding into hers, drawing her breath from her and making her forget the sorrow, the joy, and the confusion that she was feeling all at once.


	6. Chapter 6

Sharon didn't know what made her to let go of all her boundaries and plunge into this intense situation, head first, but when her senses returned to her, somewhere in the middle of the kiss, she quickly pulled away. Feeling Andy's lips torn from hers was not pleasant, but it had to be done. She made a great effort to push down the flutter that formed in her stomach, but it was there and it bugged her.

"Are you okay?" Andy's voice was half a whisper.

"I need to take Malin for a walk." Sharon said and stood up. She hurried to go out of the room, pushing Andy and the kiss that they shared away from her mind.

Andy stared into the space where she sat. A moment ago he could feel the warmth that was radiating from the spot and now it was empty. Leaving him like that was almost unfair, misleading. She kissed him back, or at least it felt this way. How could she just take the dog and leave the room as if nothing happened?

He was still sitting on the couch when she came back and he looked lost in thoughts. Walking outside with Malin helped her arrange her thoughts, just enough so she could deal with what had just happened. Most people she met didn't know that despite her quiet and calm disposition, she had a hard time processing events, especially ones that were too harsh or too complicated for her to grasp. Kissing with Andy Flynn was such an event. It would be simple to understand if it were anyone else, anyone who wasn't her subordinate officer.

"Come here," he said when she closed the door behind her. He wanted to talk; she could see it in his eyes. She took a seat next to him, her body rigid and stiff. Malin jumped on her lap, as if to provide her with support.

"I'm here." she almost whispered, not sure she could control her voice if it was any louder.

"What just happened?" Andy asked. The question was vague. She could answer anything, really, but it seemed like a good chance to analyze the situation, examine it. She wouldn't mind, she thought. It might help her, maybe the both of them, understand.

"We shared a moment of weakness." she replied. Yes, that's what it was – a moment of weakness. She was vulnerable and he was generous and they both acted on their irrational feelings. Of course they did, she thought. Feelings are always irrational.

"Do you consider desire a show of weakness?" Andy asked.

"Desire?" Sharon arched her eyebrow as if the word was new to her.

"Yeah, you know. People often kiss each other when they feel desire. Do you consider that a weakness?" he repeated his question.

"Andy, I do not mean to sound ungrateful, you've been so kind to Rusty and to me, but the kiss… Yes, it was just a moment; a foolish, and even absurd one, to say the least. We can't really have a relationship. It's against the law."

"Last night, when you took my hand, you blushed. I saw it very clearly. You felt something, didn't you?"

"What is it that you want me to say, Andy?" she asked, once again avoiding a direct answer.

"I want you to tell me what you feel." he replied, his voice a little hoarse.

"Feel?"

"Yeah, feel. You know something about feelings, right? You experience them from time to time, I'm sure." he said. "Or are you so frigid that your heart went numb from the frost?"

"I'm beginning to think that living here is a mistake." Sharon said. "If my apartment is safe to stay in, then we should go back there. This living arrangement is creating too much trouble."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Captain, but you can't go back to your apartment at the moment. It isn't safe so you're stuck here, with me."

"I understand." Sharon replied coldly, "After the holidays, I will start looking for a place to live. Until then, let's try putting what happened tonight behind us. It was just a kiss. There is no need to create such a fuss about it."


	7. Chapter 7

Rusty rubbed his eyes twice and the gifts were still under the tree. He counted them a few times; there were five. How many gifts did they have under their tree at home? He couldn't remember.

Sharon came back from her walk with Malin and saw Rusty sitting on the couch in Andy's living room, staring at the gifts that under placed under the tree. She gently put her hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

"Are those our gifts?" Rusty wondered. Sharon let out a soft hum, but he wasn't sure it meant 'yes'. "Are we allowed to open them?"

"Maybe we should wait for Andy to wake up, so he can open them with us." Sharon replied.

"He's not here," Rusty replied. Sharon arched her eyebrows. "He left to a crime scene at 4 a.m. Didn't he tell you?" Sharon looked puzzled, first wondering why she didn't get a call to the crime scene as well, then remembering that she was on sick leave and that she took two of the painkillers that were prescribed for her when she left the hospital. It probably knocked her out.

"Were you awake?" she asked.

"I heard his phone ringing and it woke me up. I thought he told you or at least left a note." Rusty shrugged.

"No, he didn't." Sharon sighed, "Did he say anything else to you?" she inquired. Rusty shook his head. Maybe living with Andy Flynn was something they needed to learn, he thought. He sneaked a gaze at Sharon; she seemed upset, maybe disappointed. She was still in pain from the effects of smoke inhalation and was not supposed to work, but he could see in her eyes that she wanted to be with her squad in the murder room, solving a crime and putting the murderer behind bars.

* * *

Andy looked upset when he came back home. He went straight to the shower, ignoring Sharon's questions about the case that was assigned to the squad and claiming that Assistant Chief Taylor asked for her not to be involved in this case while on sick leave. She frowned, but kept quiet. She knew that Andy wouldn't have listened to Taylor's orders if he was not angry with her; bothering him when he was pissed was not going to do her any good and by his expression, she could tell that he would not give her any information. She had a better chance of getting information out of Lieutenant Provenza. The slam of his bedroom door startled her and Rusty looked at her with concern.

"He's probably just upset because of the case," she reasoned.

"But why is he acting **like this**?" Rusty wondered, "It's not our fault people commit murders."

"I can't speak for Andy," Sharon sighed, "but it can be very upsetting sometimes. I don't know what the crime scene looked like, but it might have had an effect on him."

"Maybe he'd feel better if he knew that we waited for him to open our gifts." Rusty had the eyes of a child and even though Sharon had very little hope that Andy would act civilly towards them until she gets the chance to talk to him about what happened on the previous evening, she smiled and nodded.

Andy came out of his bedroom moments later and although he still seemed feisty, his scowl was gone. Sharon thought it might be a chance to appease him.

"We waited for you to come home, so we can unwrap our gifts together." she said and offered him her best smile, one that was a little hard for her to master.

"I need to go." he replied without even looking at her, "My ex-wife invited me to spend the day with my kids, so you shouldn't wait for me. Open the gifts."

"You look exhausted, Andy." Sharon tried a different approach, "Are you sure that you should be driving?"

"I'm very capable of driving, thank you." he said as he opened the door, "Goodbye," his words remained hanging in the air for a moment after he left.

"That went well," Rusty declared sarcastically. "I didn't even know he had a wife."

"Ex-wife," Sharon corrected him.

"Yeah, whatever." Rusty shrugged. "I don't get his behavior today."

"I don't either, Rusty, but Christmas can be a stressful time for people like Andy who don't get to see their children every day." Sharon said.

"You barely see your kids and you don't act this way." Rusty retorted.

"I guess that Andy and I react differently to our familial situations. I don't know what the state of affairs with his ex-wife and kids is and it's important for us to remember that we are guests here. We don't have the right to pry in his personal life."

"So what do we do now?" Rusty's voice was gloomy.

"Now we open our presents." Sharon tried to give her voice a cheerful tone, the way Andy said she should do when they taught Malin to play fetch. After all, enthusiasm is contagious.


	8. Chapter 8

Sharon came out of the shower and wrapped a big towel around her body. For the first time since she and Rusty came to live with Andy, she was alone. Rusty went to a new year's party at a friend's house and Andy was at work. She stood in front of the mirror and tried to untangle the knots in her hair. She was in a real need of a hairbrush; her fingers could only do so much. Suddenly she heard the creak of the bathroom door and Andy walked in.

"God, help me!" She nearly dropped her towel. "Andy, don't you knock?" her voice was high pitched, but it quickly turned into a deep, involuntary laughter that made her drop to her knees. Andy wasn't sure what has just happened and why Captain Sharon Raydor was crouching on his bathroom floor, cracking up after he walked in on her half-naked.

"You've lost your mind," he said, unable to hide his smile. Her laughter was quite contagious and melted the last remains of anger he still felt towards her.

"I'm sorry," she giggled, "I'm sorry, I can't…" She sent out her arm, "help me up," Andy took her hand and pulled her off the floor in a movement so swift that her body was flung against his and nearly made the both of them fall. Sharon started laughing again, this time into his shoulder. It took her a couple of minutes to regain her control over herself. She put her hand on Andy's chest and created some distance between them, biting her bottom lip. She tightened the towel around her body and cleared her throat. "Lieutenant Flynn," she said in her nonchalant tone.

"Captain Raydor," Andy replied with a similar tone. "I think you should dress up. It's a bit distracting."

"Lieutenant Flynn, I believe that you are right. And we should talk, right after I am decent."

"Of course, Captain." Andy nodded and hurried out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him and wondering whether his imagination started working overtime or this whole conversation actually just took place.

Sharon knocked on Andy's bedroom door. She was dressed up now and in full control of her emotions, reactions and actions. The incident in the bathroom brought up a happy memory from that brief time in her marriage when her ex-husband used to deliberately walk in on her while she was in the shower. The whole situation, nearly 20 years later, with a different man was quite amusing and the main reason for her irrepressible laughing fit, despite the embarrassing fact that it happened in front of her subordinate.

"Come in," he said and she opened the door and went into his room. She expected his room to have mountains of mess, but the room was actually clean and neat. It even smelled good. She stood at the doorway and smirked.

"Andy," she said, "I think we should straighten things out about what happened between us during the last few days." He nodded and she continued. "You know, that kiss… I didn't think it meant anything for you, but now I realize that it did." He looked at her, listening, but not reacting. "And I just wanted to apologize for misleading you. I never meant to upset you. I'd very much like for us to have a friendly relationship when we are not at work." Andy seemed to be contemplating his reply.

"Tell me one thing, Sharon," he said, "did the kiss really mean nothing for you or are you just unwilling to have a relationship with me because I am your underling?"


	9. Chapter 9

Andy's words remained hanging in the air for a long time before Sharon was able to reply to him. Deep inside, she knew that the kiss bore a profound feeling that she didn't want to deal with. It was that electric current that passed between them every time their skins touched. She felt it again earlier, in the bathroom. Being so close to him with nothing but a towel separating his hungry eyes from her naked body was somewhat enticing.

"The kiss felt great, Andy. It felt amazing, actually." she admitted, "But you and I both know that we can't act on the feelings we obviously share for each other. It would be unethical on my account to conduct an affair with you."

"If you were still in Internal Affairs, do you think that you would've dated with me?" Andy asked.

"Maybe, if you asked." she replied. "But I'm not in IA anymore and the situation does not allow us…" Andy walked from across the room and stood in front of her, making her stop in mid-sentence. His being there, so close and yet so out of reach made her heartbeat race.

"Earlier in the bathroom, I felt like you were trying to seduce me. To be honest, what happened there was beyond friendly. It was almost as if you were using the fact that you were nearly naked to reconcile with me." Andy said.

"I admit that it was not professional of me to act this way," Sharon said, her voice firm, but her insides were shaky. "And I apologize for the inconvenience it caused you."

"I don't want you to apologize." he said softly, "I want you to acknowledge the fact that you are attracted to me and that you **want **to act on this feeling."

"Andy, please don't play this game with me. We can't be together, so whatever any of us wants is irrelevant here." she never imagined that she would ever be begging someone not to fancy her.

"I want you," Andy said, dangerously nearing her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to his body. The fact that his arms around her felt so good was virtually a sin in Sharon's eyes. "And I know you also want me, so let's just take it one day at a time and see what happens." He tilted his head down and his lips gently nudged between hers, spreading them open. It took a moment before she was able to let herself go and immerse in the kiss. His lips on hers, warm and soft, silenced the little voice inside her head that told her to stop before things start spinning out of her control. He tightened his arms around her and she felt it; **the **butterflies. It's been nearly a decade since the last time she felt them and it might have been too long ago for her to remember how good it felt.

She let him lead her into the room, his fingers running through her wet hair, his tongue dancing inside her mouth. He was heading for the bed, she knew and even though she wasn't the kind of woman who rushed into bed with a man, it was an itch she needed to scratch.  
With his arms supporting her back, Andy thrust his body against hers, making both of them fall on the bed. A moan escaped their mouths in unison as their bodies touched the mattress. Andy's fingers slid under her shirt as his lips left her mouth and travelled down her neck. It was only then that she realized how long it has been since the last time she slept with a man and a wave of uncertainty washed her body from the inside.

"Andy," she whispered his name. "Stop."

"What?" Andy spoke against the skin of her neck.

"I'm not…" she tried to choose her words. "We're not sleeping together tonight."

"You're not serious!" Andy protested. He looked into her eyes, only now noticing that she was trembling. "You led me on." his voice was a mix of anger and disappointment.

"I'm sorry, Andy. I can't." She said and gently released her body from under him. She could feel his glare burning her skin. It was harsh and painful and much too quiet.

"Please leave the room. I want to be alone." he said with a voice that was so controlled to the extent that he sounded robotic. She tried to look into his eyes and find the soft-spoken Andy she knew so well, but to no avail. She walked out of his room and sat on the couch, curling her feet under her. Pulling Malin into her arms, she buried her face in the puppy's soft fur and let her tears out.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: It seems that the last part of last chapter was misunderstood by some readers who felt it was OOC for Andy to act the way he did. While you might be right, I would like to point out that what happened in that chapter is a huge misunderstanding between Andy and Sharon, which will be addressed later on in the story. If anyone wants any further explanations (no spoilers, though), feel free to contact me.

* * *

Sharon stood in the doorway of the small apartment and looked into it with shock and even slight panic. The situation with Andy has slipped out of her control; he was so offended by what happened in New Year's Eve that he didn't even give her the chance to explain herself. If she wanted to attempt to reconcile and to be able to return to normal relationship with him, she will have to move out of his house first. Living with him created too much tension between them and it was quite uncomfortable to sleep on the couch in the living room anyway. She started hunting for short-term rentals where she and Rusty could stay until the insurance company determines the extent of damage in her apartment. She used the ads in the newspaper and called up about apartments that seemed to fit their needs, but none of the apartment owners allowed pets and she didn't want to leave Malin anywhere, not even for a short while.

This particular apartment that she was visiting looked so appalling from the doorway that she didn't even want to enter. The ads in the paper were the wrong way for her to look, she realized. If she really wanted to find an apartment that would suit her needs, she needed a realtor. She sighed as she went down the stairs of the apartment building; way too many stairs for a person who was still recovering from the damages of smoke inhalation. It must have an elevator, she thought.

* * *

Alex Tremblay was a tall man whose confident stature made people believe him. Sharon's eyes scanned him from top to bottom. He smiled at her reassuringly, as if he noticed her curious gaze.

"So, what kind of apartment are you looking for?" He asked. She liked his voice which was warm and slightly hoarse.

"Well, an apartment with two bedrooms, an elevator and pet friendly owners." She replied.

"Fully furnished and with appliances?" Alex asked and she nodded. He had a Canadian accent which sounded strange and appealing at the same time. She's always had a sensitive ear when it came to accents. Her husband was Dane and his accent was what originally attracted her to him. Alex browsed through his computer. "I have a few apartments that you might like to see." He said and printed out information about the different apartments he had found for her. He handed her the paper and she examined it.

"The second one sounds nice," she said. "And the third one as well."

"I assume that you'd like to see it," Alex smiled at her. His teeth were artificially white and it was most likely the brightest smile Sharon had seen in her entire life.

"Of course," she said. She couldn't explain it, but she felt an unusual attraction to him. She couldn't understand it, but the feeling was there and quite confusing. It was just the smell of his aftershave, she reasoned inwardly.

"I'll set up a meeting. Here is my card," he said and handed her his business card. "Call me if you have any questions." He smiled at her again. Oh, he was just too good at his job, she thought before shaking his hand and leaving his office.


	11. Chapter 11

The renovated, central apartment was nice and it had a lot of light, a thing that Sharon liked a lot. It seemed like a cozy flat and there was even a balcony. The kitchen and living room were quite small and the rent was very expensive. But it was only the first apartment Alex had showed her and he still planned on showing her two more apartments.

"Maybe we should take my car," he suggested as they went out of the first apartment building. "We'll get there faster." Sharon smiled and nodded as they walked over to his shiny Toyota Prius. He unlocked it and opened the passenger door for her.

"Thank you," she replied, trying not to expose how touched she was by his chivalrous action. He entered the car and drove away. "So, where are you from?" she asked. She was pretty convinced that he was from Canada. His accent was too telling.

"I'm from Montreal," he said. "But I've been living in LA since 82." Sharon awarded herself with 10 useless points for her successful guess.

"And what about you? Have you always lived in LA?" Alex asked, his accent even more prominent now.

"I'm originally from Salt Lake City." Sharon replied, smiling.

"And what do you do for living, if I may ask?"

"I'm a cop." Sharon replied.

"You? A cop?" Alex arched his eyebrows. "I thought you'll say that you're a teacher."

"A teacher?" Sharon chuckled, "Why did you think that?"

"Because you're too good-looking to be a librarian and that was my next guess." Oh, he was a charmer, Sharon thought. She had to give him points for that. He knew how to give compliments that she wasn't too embarrassed to accept. "So, what kind of cop are you?"

"I investigate murders." she replied.

"That's impressive," Alex said. "I hope that it's not too rude to ask, but I don't see a ring on your finger. Does it mean that you're not married?"

"I'm legally separated from my husband." Sharon answered.

"Is that why you're looking for an apartment?"

"No. My husband and I have been separated for over 20 years." Sharon grinned. "My house burned down and I'm looking for a temporary residence to live until I can renovate."

"And the second bedroom, who is it for, if I may ask?" Wow, Sharon thought, this man was quite direct with his questions. He could have been a good investigator.

"It's for my foster son," She said.

"The more you tell me about yourself, the more I like you." Alex smiled at her, "Can I ask you out for dinner?"


	12. Chapter 12

Sharon stood in the bathroom and did her hair. It's been a long time since she last went on a date and she remembered it as a stressful occasion, but this time she felt very calm. Maybe it was because she already met him before and passed the small talk stage, she thought. She pinned her hair up and checked how it looked from a few different angles.

"Where are you going?" She heard Rusty's voice behind her. She turned around and smiled at him.

"I have a meeting." She said.

"Who are you meeting dressed like this?" Rusty wondered. She was wearing very tight black pants, a black silk shirt that exposed a little of her cleavage and was decorated with silver beads and a pair of black and silver very high heels pumps.

"I'm meeting the realtor." Sharon shrugged as if it was not a big deal, but she could see by Rusty's gaze that it was a very huge deal for him.

"To me it looks like you're actually going out on a date with the realtor." he remarked.

"We're just going out for dinner, Rusty. I'll be back in a couple of hours." she said.

"It would be nice if you could tell the truth. You've been really awesome about telling the truth until now. Lying just isn't your thing." The anger in his voice hurt Sharon more than he could ever imagine.

"Rusty," she said and walked over to him. "If it bothers you so much I won't go."

"You should go, really. Maybe he's a nice guy. Who knows?" He muttered angrily and walked out of the bathroom. She chased him.

"Okay, I can see that it's bothering you." she said, "Can you tell me why?" Rusty looked at her with his blue eyes the way that Malin looked at her sometimes. There was this mix of love and sadness in both Rusty's and Malin's eyes.

"Because you didn't tell me about it." he said, stressing every word.

"I didn't tell you because I thought you won't care about it." Sharon admitted.

"Why would I not care? This date, if it goes well, has a potential of changing everything for me. Of course I would care." Rusty said.

"I'm sorry, Rusty. I haven't thought of this all the way through. We've been through a lot and I know that changes are frightening for you. I do know that. Whatever happens tonight, I want you to know that you are my top priority. You are. And if you want me to cancel, I'll do it."

"No, don't cancel. You should go with the realtor and have fun." Rusty said and this time his voice was calm.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Go out and enjoy yourself, but if things are about to change, let me know." Rusty said.

"I will, promise." Sharon replied.

"Just one thing," Rusty said. "What's his name?"

"His name is Alex Tremblay." Sharon replied and Rusty nodded slowly. "Oh god, you're gonna google him, aren't you?"

"You bet I do." As Rusty said that they heard a knock on the door.

"That must be Alex," She said and gave Rusty's shoulder a quick squeeze before going to open the door.

"Sharon," Rusty's voice made her turn around, her hand on the door handle. "You look really good."


	13. Chapter 13

Alex parked his car in front of Andy's house and took Sharon's hand. She had a lovely evening that included a romantic dinner followed by a stroll down the beach where he dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. It was a light kiss, with his lips just fluttering over hers, without actually capturing them. It was that kind of a kiss that a married couple gave each other before going to work, casual, effortless and comfortable.

"I hope you had a good time," he said, "and I'd like to see you again, maybe we'll go out for a movie next time."

"I'd like that a lot." Sharon said, "I had a great time." She didn't want to leave his car and have to go back into Andy's house, but she promised Rusty she wouldn't be gone more than two hours and it's been four hours already.

"I'm glad," he smiled. "And before you go…" he leaned over and his lips brushed against hers, his arms sliding around her waist and pulling her body close to him. His lips on hers sent her thoughts for a little trip in the galaxy and her body, now released from the burden of thinking, reacted to his touch. Her fingers stroked his perfectly shaved face and she let him pull her even closer to his body, closing the gap between them completely.

She wasn't sure how long their kiss lasted, but it was already midnight when she finally pulled away from him.

"I have to go," her voice was a whisper, eager not to spoil the moment. She smiled at him as she opened the door and went out of the car. Her mood was elated and she felt as if she was flying when she walked down the pathway that led to Andy's door.

Malin jumped off the couch and ran to her when she opened the door and Sharon bent down to pick her up in her arms. The house was quiet and it seemed like both Andy and Rusty were asleep. She removed her shoes and walked across the living room, with Malin still in her arms.

"How was your date?" Andy's voice startled her. She didn't even hear him walking into the living room.

"I thought that you went to sleep already." she said, trying to hide her surprise, but to no avail. He saw it and probably took note of it.

"I would have gone to bed if I didn't have to calm down your kid, to whom you promised to return within a couple of hours." Andy said, his voice harsh.

"I've been available on my mobile. He could have called me." Sharon replied. She hated the fact that Rusty was scared or worried. "Is he still awake?"

"What do you think?" Andy asked. Sharon rushed to the guest room and knocked on the door.

"Come in," She heard his voice and opened the door.

"Rusty," she uttered his name softly as she entered the room. He was sitting on the bed with Andy's laptop in front of him. "Andy tells me that you've been worried." She took a seat on the bed and put Malin down. The puppy lay down on the bed and rested her head on Sharon's knee.

"You said that you'll be back within two hours. It's been four hours already." Rusty blamed her. She felt a sharp pull in her chest – her heart skipped a beat.

"I'm sorry," her voice couldn't even express how regretful she felt. "I lost track of time, but you should know that I will always come back. I won't leave you. I thought you trusted me."

"It's not you that I don't trust. I don't trust the man. No one really trusts realtors." Sharon had to command him for his sense of humor, although she knew that his fears and worries were very real and tangible.

"I can see that you googled his name," she pointed at the laptop. "Did you find something that made you worry?"

"I wanted to make sure that you're safe with him." Rusty said, "But all I found is his business website." He quickly went into the site that he found. "His picture is really stupid." Sharon giggled when she saw Alex's photo in his site. He looked a little bit too proud and very different than he looked in their date.

"You're very sweet, Rusty." She pulled him into a loose hug. "I think he's safe to be around."

"So that means that you'll be going out on another date with him?" Rusty still looked concerned.

"I think so, but I promise that I'm gonna keep you in the loop. You can feel free to ask me anything and express your opinion. It's important to me that you know that you have a say about what goes on in my life." she said, "But there are still lines that I expect you not to cross. I trust that you know what they are, right?" He nodded slowly.

"I just have one question." Rusty declared.

"Go ahead."

"What did you do that it took you four hours to come back?" He wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to know, but he trusted Sharon to tell him only the PG rated things.

"We went out for dinner, than we went for a walk on the beach." she replied.

"With your heels?" Rusty grinned.

"I took them off, smartass." she replied.

"So that's all?" Rusty asked. Sharon nodded and smiled. "Andy looked angry when I told him you're on a date."

"It's okay. He was probably just worried. I should have called and told you that I was going to be late." she said. To the best of her knowledge, Rusty didn't know anything about what had happened between Andy and her and she intended to keep it this way.

"Are you sure? It kinda looks like he took it personally." Rusty remarked. "I think he was kinda jealous."


	14. Chapter 14

Going back to work was a great relief for Sharon. She was still in pain since the doctor had reduced her pain meds and she started feeling some withdrawal symptoms, but in general, she didn't feel there was a need for her to stay on sick leave. Most of her clothes were still in her apartment, although she was able to get some clothes for her and for Rusty. She checked herself in the mirror. The clothes she was wearing were not her usual attire, but it was suitable enough. She knew that she couldn't move her entire closet to Flynn's house and therefore only took clothes that could fit both work and home.

"Captain, you lost weight." Sykes declared as Sharon walked through the doors of the Major Crimes office. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm glad to be here. It could have been a lot worse." Sharon replied.

"Could I get you a cup of coffee, maybe?" Sykes' voice was enthusiastic.

"No, Amy. There's no need. I'm good." Sharon smiled. "Where is everyone?"

"They went to a crime scene." Sykes answered.

"And you were left behind because…" Sharon said.

"You haven't heard?" Sykes asked.

"Heard what?"

"I'm not cleared for field work. FID is investigating me because I discharged my weapon on a civilian. They took my weapon and I can only do office work." Sykes explained.

"One of my detectives is under FID investigation and nobody told me about it?" Sharon's voice was high pitched. "Who's in charge of the investigation?"

"Captain Walker." Sykes said.

"I know her." Sharon declared. "How long has it been?"

"Twenty four hours." Sykes said and started explaining what had happened.

"Okay," Sharon sighed when she heard Sykes description of events. "It seems like you've done everything right. FID should exonerate you of all charges. Please be cooperative and they will be taking note of that. I'll give Captain Walker a call and see what I can do."

* * *

Sharon was furious, but she held back her anger as she entered Assistant Chief Taylor's office. He was on the phone and motioned her to sit down. She used the time that it took him to finish his phone call to think about what she wanted to say.

"Captain Raydor," Taylor said. "It's good to see you back. How are you feeling?"

"I am well, thank you, sir." she replied.

"I understand that you are interested in a report of the events that happened in your division while you were on sick leave." he said, his voice sleek.

"Not exactly," Sharon said. "I'd like to know if during my sick leave you have ordered Lieutenant Flynn not to provide me with information about the cases investigated by the division and about the events that happened during my leave."

"I have never issued such order, Captain. Is there a problem I should know of?"

"No, sir. I think I will be able to handle it on my own." she sighed inwardly.

"Good." Taylor said, "Anything else?" Sharon shook her head and thanked him. She knew the entire time that Flynn lied about Taylor asking the members of the division not to provide her with information about the cases investigated by them during her leave, but now that Taylor confirmed that it was a lie, she felt her insides burning with rage. She will need to talk to Lieutenant Flynn as soon as he returned to the office. She decided to use the wait time to contact Captain Walker of the FID.

* * *

The members of the squad were surprised to find out that their Captain was back. Even Andy seemed shocked to see her back in the office. After they welcomed her and she answered their burning questions about the fire and calmed their aching curiosity about her physical condition, she ordered them back to work.

"Except for you, Lieutenant Flynn," she said. "May I see you in my office?" Unwillingly he followed her into her office. She closed the door and the blinds. "Have a seat, Lieutenant." she said.

"Oh, we're using ranks now?" The sarcasm in Andy's voice grated on her ears.

"Yes, Lieutenant. We are." she said in her usual monotonous indifferent tone.

"How can I help you, **Captain**?"

"I can't even begin to describe how furious I am at your conduct, Lieutenant Flynn." she said.

"Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about." Andy shrugged.

"Why did you not notify me that Detective Sykes is being investigated by FID?" she asked, trying to sneak the right amount of anger and coldness into her voice. "I had to find that out from Sykes when I came in."

"For the same reason you did not notify me that you are seeing another man." Andy asked. "I had to find that out from Rusty when I came from work last night."

"You would sacrifice the work-security of your colleague because of your masculine ego?" Raydor now unleashed her rage. If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was a colleague backstabbing another.

"You were on a sick leave. I was not obligated to tell you what had happened at work. If it was something Sykes couldn't deal with, I'm sure that she would have contacted you."

"I disagree. You know that she is new to the squad and being under an FID investigation at such an early stage of her career…"

"That's bullshit." Andy barked at her, "The reason you are angry that I haven't told you about this is your frantic need for control."

"Excuse me?" Sharon's face became flushed in an instant.

"With all due respect, you can't take it when you don't have control over something. It's insane! And it's what makes you push people away, and the reason that everyone in your life..."

"Lieutenant!" Her voice came out of her mouth in a painful yank. She could feel it in her sore lungs and in her throat. "If I were you, I would close my mouth this instant." Her hands were shaking and she shoved them into the pockets of her jacket.

"I held you at a higher standard, Captain." Andy said and stormed out of her office, slamming the door behind him. Sharon stared at the door for a long time before she was able to restrain her trembling.


	15. Chapter 15

Harsh words usually slid down Sharon's skin like drops of water. She had never found herself so affected by someone's abrasive speech before, but Andy's stark words scorched her so badly that she could barely breathe._ Had he known that his words were going to have such cruel upshot?_ She wondered. She felt her heart contracting in her chest and it was painful, as if someone grabbed it with their bare hands and squeezed it. She needed her pain meds, urgently, but her doctor's words echoed in her ears. She shouldn't take them until it was an emergency. How could she tell if it was an emergency or not? She wasn't a doctor. Her head was buzzing, her vision blurring. She sent her hand into her purse, but the bottle of pills was too elusive, she couldn't find it.

Provenza and Sanchez were sitting in the murder room and discussing the case when they heard a loud thump coming from the Captain's office. They exchanged worried gazes. It sounded as if someone just threw a very heavy object on the floor.

"Captain," Sanchez knocked on her door. "Is everything okay?" There was no reply and he knocked again. "Captain, I'm coming in." he informed her before opening the door. She was lying on the floor and seemed unconscious.

"The Captain's down, get some paramedics in here!" he called out to Provenza. He turned the Captain on her side and checked her vitals. She was breathing and her heart was beating, even though her pulse seemed rather slow. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around her in confusion, trying to rise from the floor. "Don't get up, Captain." Sanchez gently held her down. "You fainted."

* * *

Sharon was royally pissed and it was even worse because she didn't even know where she should have directed her anger. It seemed to her that she was the person to blame for her fainting. She should have never reacted to Andy's words the way she did, she thought. Her reaction was stupid. Why did she even care about what he had to say? And now her fainting sent her to a week-long bed rest. What a useless way to spend her week, she mused.

After the fight they had in her office, she tried to find a hotel where she could stay with Malin and Rusty but couldn't find any affordable pet-friendly hotel and Rusty opposed the move. Andy used the fact that she was stuck on his couch for a week by doctor's orders to torture her. He put the TV remote on the far end of the table and moved the tea leaves to the highest shelf in the cabinet yet he scolded her every time she tried to get hold of the things that he deliberately put out of her reach. She found herself lying on the couch, with Malin snuggling by her side and reading one of Rusty's Math books which was the only thing Andy put next to her. She hated Math with passion before and now she despised this horrible subject even more. And if that wasn't enough, he banned her from the kitchen until her bed rest was over. Normally she would protest, but Rusty was worried already and she didn't want to involve him in her personal issues with Andy.

It was her third day on Andy's couch and she needed a real decent dinner. He was still at work and Rusty was at a friend's house. She thought it was a good chance to sneak into the kitchen and eat some real food without being scolded about defying doctor's orders. The fridge was practically empty and she threw a quick glance at the microwave clock. She didn't have much time to order food before Andy came home and found her in the kitchen. She opened the freezer, hoping to find a frozen TV dinner, but all she was able to find was a bucket of Chunky Monkey. It seemed like the choice was out of her hand and she grabbed the bucket and opened the lid. It's been years since she touched Chunky Monkey; it was a great comfort food after her last breakup, but she hadn't eaten it since. Taking a spoon, she scooped some ice cream out of the bucket and nudged it in her mouth. It tasted like long-forgotten nectar.

"Oh-my-God!" she suddenly came to realize that she sounded just like Brenda Leigh Johnson did when she ate her ding-dongs. She was probably losing her mind if she was having a foodgasm. Malin bit at her bare feet and Sharon looked down at the dog. "You want some?" she asked. She didn't know much about dogs, but giving her puppy ice cream was probably not the best thing to do. "Okay, just a little bit." She used her finger to scoop some ice cream and sent her arm towards Malin, who happily licked the ice cream off the tip of Sharon's finger. "It's great, isn't it?" For some reason, talking to a dog didn't seem or feel as crazy to her as she thought it would before she had a dog. Malin wagged her tail.

"What are you doing in the kitchen?" She heard Andy's voice behind her. She didn't even hear him coming in.

"I was hungry." she shrugged. Andy walked over to her and wrapped his fingers around the ice cream bucket that was in Sharon's hand.

"You're supposed to be in bed rest." he said.

"I can get up every once in a while. I'm not gonna faint again, promise." she offered an appeasing smile.

"Give it to me." He tried to pull the bucket out of her hand, but her fingers grasped it as tightly as his did.

"I am hungry. I'm eating this." she said through clenched teeth.

"No, you are not. This is not food; it's desert." Andy reproached her.

"Your fridge is empty."

"Then order takeout." Andy looked at her with a demanding gaze.

"Fine," she released her hold of the ice cream bucket and grabbed the phone.

"Unbelievable! You ate half of this container." Andy put the lid on the bucket and shoved it in the freezer.

"I did not. It was already open." Sharon responded. "And I wouldn't have been so hungry if you let me to get off the couch twice a day and make my own food."

"You are supposed to be resting. That means that you should be on that couch and not move from there." Andy said.

"Oh, just stop it! We both know that you don't care about my wellbeing all that much, so stop pretending that you give a damn." Sharon said. "You're using this bed rest to torment me and this is getting on my nerves."

"I apologize, milady, that I don't want to sweep you off my floor when I come back home from work." Andy was equally angry.

"Wow, you're hilarious." Sharon voice bore a great deal of sarcasm. "Instead of solving your problems with me like an adult, you resort to fights over control. How very mature."

"Sure, you wanna solve this problem? Maybe you should explain to me what makes your boyfriend such a great catch compared to me."


	16. Chapter 16

Sharon looked at Andy with slight shock. She knew Alex was the issue that bothered him, but she didn't expect him to say what he felt in such a direct manner. Her relationship with Alex was none of his business, but she couldn't just ignore what he just said to her. It wasn't in her nature to just disregard and bury challenging issues.

"You know what? I'll order dinner for us and we can speak about this like two adults. What do you think?" Andy nodded grumpily. "Chinese?"

"Whatever you want. I'm going to take a shower." he said and walked out of the kitchen. Sharon sighed and dialed the number of a Chinese restaurant she liked.

She thought that she would use the time until the food delivery arrived to prepare for what she expected to be an extremely unpleasant conversation, but the food came much faster than she estimated and Andy was already out of the shower. She set the table in the kitchen and took a seat, trying very hard not to tap on the table with her fingers. Andy came into the kitchen and took a seat in front of her. An awkward silence spread around them until Sharon picked up the noodle box and offered Andy some. He nodded slowly and she loaded some noodles on their plates.

"Okay…" she said, "I guess that I should start." She didn't really know what to say but she knew she had to say something. Otherwise it wasn't much of a conversation. "I understand that you are very upset with me."

"I am." Andy confirmed. "I thought that you were interested in me and I don't even know why things went wrong to begin with because you never even provided an explanation about what had happened that night." He attempted to sound calm, but his nervousness seeped through his voice.

"You mean New Year's?" she asked and he nodded. "To be honest, I panicked. It's been quite a while since I actually had a relationship and things were just happening too fast."

"So you figured that running the other way was the best thing to do?" Andy wondered.

"It was probably not the best decision I've made, Andy, but we are here, dealing with the consequences, aren't we?" she shrugged.

"And what are those consequences, if I may ask? Because the way it seems to me, I was left in the dark while you decided to go out with some other guy." Andy was losing his temper.

"You were angry at me. I reckoned you didn't want to be a part of a relationship with me after what had happened." Sharon replied. "So I moved on."

"You moved on? Without an apology, without an explanation, without asking me what I felt? You just assumed that I didn't want to be with you and moved on?" Andy's voice was shaking, "Do you have feelings at all, Sharon?"

"Of course I do." she replied. "Look, I know that it makes you angry. It seems like we had a huge misunderstanding and I'm sorry. I truly am." She took a deep breath before she continued. "But I'm dating Alex now and I like him a lot, so I'd like to give that relationship a chance."

"Well, I hope that goes well for you, because I don't think I'll ever want to have a relationship with such a cold woman who plays with my heart and then smashes it to smithereens." Andy was no longer able to control the emotions in his voice.

"I'm sorry, Andy." Sharon's voice was almost a whisper.

"Sure you are." he said and left the table. Sharon looked at her plate. She didn't even touch her food, yet she was no longer hungry. She put the food away and grabbed Malin's ball, going to Andy's patio, being followed by the dog.

She threw the ball as hard and as far as she could and Malin brought it back. She threw it again, this time using less force. Malin excitedly ran after the ball and fetched it again. As she bent down to take the ball from the ground, Sharon felt her eyes filling up with tears. She didn't cry very often and certainly not because of a man, but the tears defied her will and started rolling down her face. She threw the ball again, this time sinking to the floor as it left her hand and chocked back a cry. Malin rushed to her side with the ball in her mouth and dropped it to the ground. She nudged her cold and wet nose under Sharon's chin and licked it as if trying to tell her that things were going to improve.

"You're right," Sharon sniffled. "It will be okay."


	17. Chapter 17

**Warning**: This chapter contains violence, sexual assault and some inappropriate language. Therefor it's rated M.

* * *

It wasn't the first time Sharon had seen "Giselle". In fact, she had seen it many times. There was something so beautifully tragic about this ballet that it made her entire outlook on life change. Alex slid his hand into hers and entwined his fingers with hers. The last time before they parted, he spoke about going out for a dinner and a movie, but when she met him, he pulled out two tickets to the ballet. Her heart nearly leaped out of her chest with excitement.

She was still encompassed in the magic of the moment when the lights went on at the end of the performance and she took Alex's hand as they went out of the theatre into the street.

"Did you have a good time?" he asked.

"I did. Thank you so much for this wonderful surprise." She turned to him and dropped a quick, casual kiss on his lips.

"It's still pretty early and I thought we could go and get some ice cream, what do you think?" Alex asked.

"Sounds great." Sharon said and they walked over to the parking lot.

He parked his car in front of an apartment building. It was only then Sharon had noticed that they went the wrong way. Her cop senses told her told her that things were not quite right. Alex didn't notice how the gaze on her face changed until he opened the passenger seat for her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I thought we were going for ice cream." Sharon said, remaining in the car sit.

"We are. I like homemade ice cream. I make it myself; got five different flavors. Come on." he replied. Sharon threw a glance at her watch. It was not late and she supposed that she could have an ice cream and then get a cab back to Andy's house. He should have told her the ice cream was in his apartment and it felt a little unfair, but she could deal with that.

"Okay, but then I have to leave. Rusty has school tomorrow." she said.

"Of course." he said and reached out for her hand. She went out of the car, letting him wrap his arm around her waist and pushing aside the little annoying voice inside her head that told her to be careful with her decisions.

Alex was living in a nice building in a quiet area. When they went into the elevator, she wondered if he could get her an apartment in this neighborhood. They went out of the elevator and she followed him down the hall. He unlocked the door and they went into his apartment.

"You're apartment is beautiful." Sharon called out when he switched the light on. The big living room was a mix of modern and old and she liked it a lot.

"Feel free to admire it. I'll get some ice cream for us." He smiled at her as he walked to the kitchen. Sharon looked around. The furniture was faux antique and gave the living room a very warm feel. Alex came back carrying a tray with a few different bowls, each filled with a different ice cream. He put it down on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch, patting down on the seat next to him. She sat down. "So I have an idea for a little game." he said. Sharon wasn't sure she liked the sound of that. "Close your eyes."

"What?" She wasn't sure how she should react. At least not without having some idea about the kind of game he wanted to play.

"Trust me, it will be pleasant." Alex smiled. "All you'll need to do is guess what kind of ice cream I'm putting in your mouth." It seemed harmless enough. Sharon closed her eyes and Alex brought the first spoon to her mouth. Oh, that's easy, she thought. She savored the flavor on her tongue.

"Dulce de leche." she guessed.

"That's right." Alex said, leaning forward to drop a kiss on her lips. "Ready for another one?" she nodded slowly and he gently nudged another spoon into her mouth.

"Raspberry?" Sharon guessed. "Oh, wait! It's blackberry." She really liked this specific flavor. It had the right mix of sweet and sour. He was great at making homemade ice cream as well, she thought.

"Correct answer." It seemed like every answer rewarded her with a kiss. She liked this game a lot. It was fun, tasty and even a little challenging. She guessed all the flavors and 'won' a kiss for each one. He certainly knew how to make a woman enjoy spending time with him. She had to command him for that. "So now you get to pick the flavor you liked the most."

"They were all excellent, but I just loved the blackberry ice cream." she said and he handed her the bowl. "What's your favorite?"

"I really like the coconut ice cream." he gave a toothy smile.

"I never met anyone who makes their own ice cream, but this is better than any ice cream I've ever tasted." she said. He put down his bowl and leaned forward, capturing her lips between his and pulling her into his arms. His lips went down her neck and she let out an involuntary moan.

"You smell so good." The vibration of his lips against her skin woke up the butterflies in her stomach. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her fingers dug into his hair. He leaned down on top of her, making her drop her weight on the couch and his fingers slid under her skirt. She barely noticed it at first, but as he slid his hand between her thighs, she placed her palm on his chest and broke the kiss. He nodded reassuringly and pulled his hand back, moving it to her hip and bringing his lips down to hers again. Entwining the fingers of one hand with hers, he used the other to cup her breast through her shirt. His demanding lips did not allow her to break the kiss as his fingers groped her. She used her free hand to remove his hand from her breast, but he pushed it aside, sliding his leg between her thighs and making her try to release her body from under his. "Come on, I know you want it." He said as she protested.

"Alex, stop." she said firmly and tried to push him off her body.

"Don't act out. You want it just as much as I do." He said and grabbed both of her wrists, pinning her down to the couch.

"No, I don't. Please let go of me."

"You know what I think?" he said, pausing for a moment. "I think you like it rough." Before she had the chance to protest, he ripped the collar of her shirt, exposing the strap of her bra. Sharon kneed him in the stomach and used the chance to escape and run to the door. He chased her, hurling her body against the door and painfully twisting her right arm behind her back. She let down a scream. "I like this game." He said and his hand pulled her skirt up. Sharon squirmed and hit him with her elbow, but he was stronger and started dragging her away from the door. Tossing her on the couch again, he pulled his pants down as he pinned her to the couch again. She screamed as loud as she could, right into his ear, but he didn't even flinch. "Oh, keep doing that; it turns me on." He threw all of his weight on her body and started thrusting himself against her.

"You son of a bitch!" she called out before locking her teeth on his neck and biting him so hard that she could taste blood in her mouth. He pulled away and held his neck.

"Whore!" he called out and punched her. It hurt, but in his anger he released her hands which gave her a chance to fight back. She grabbed the first thing her fingers touched – a bowl full of ice cream – and threw it in his face, using the momentum to free her entire body from under his and escaping his apartment, grabbing her purse on the way out. She ran down the emergency staircase as fast as she could but her high heel broke and she tripped down, hitting her head in the railing. With all the strength that she could gather, she dragged herself the rest of the way down to the street. She gasped for air as she took her iPhone out of her purse and made a call.

"Andy, I need your help. It's an emergency." She wanted to cry, but she needed to stay as calm as she could in order to describe her situation to Andy. "It's Alex; he attacked me. I need you to come pick me up."


	18. Chapter 18

**Trigger Alert**: This chapter contains matter which is related to sexual assault.

* * *

Andy pulled his car into the first vacant parking spot he could find. He had Sharon on the phone with him the entire drive, making sure that she was not being chased by Alex. He wanted her to call the police, but she insisted that she wanted him to stay on the phone with her and besides, he was a cop and so was she, there was no need for a 911 call, she reasoned. She was standing at the corner of the street, barely able to carry her own weight and as he went out of the car, he could see that she was hurt. Her face was swollen and some blood dried around her nose and mouth, her foot was twisted and her arm was hanging motionless in an unhealthy manner. The wrist seemed purple and swollen.

"I'm gonna kill that bastard." he growled.

"I'm safe now. Don't go after him, please." She tried to look collected, but her insides were flipping with a mix of feelings.

"Can you walk?" Andy asked.

"I don't know." she replied. Fact was that she couldn't. Her ankle was severely twisted and swollen, but Andy came all the way to help her. She owed him at least that. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders to support her body, but she tripped as soon as she tried to take one step.

"Don't strain your leg." he said and lifted her in his arms, carrying her to his car and gently put her down in the passenger side.

* * *

He took her to the hospital, despite her objections. She was obviously too overwhelmed to even notice how badly she was hurt and she was in a need of medical attention. He carried her in, explained that she was a cop and as she was taken to the ER for general checkup, he filled in the forms on her behalf.

A nurse has been trying to remove her clothes and dress her in a hospital gown, but Sharon fought her, insisting that she was going home soon. Andy could hear her from the other side of the ER and he walked over to her bed, his head peeping through the drape.

"Can I have a moment with her?" he asked the nurse who nodded and left. He walked over to the bed and took Sharon's hand.

"Andy, why did you bring me here? I need to go home, Rusty has school tomorrow." she said.

"Sharon, you can't go home. At least not tonight." He tried to sound as gentle as he could. "You are hurt. Look at your hand and at your foot. You need medical attention and I already contacted SVU. They're on their way."

"No, no, no! I called you because I thought you could keep a secret. Tell them to go back. I don't want them here." she panicked. "No one can know about it."

"Sharon, think logically. If it was any other victim of a sexual crime, you'd call SVU yourself."

"I'm not a victim." she muttered angrily.

"In the eyes of the law you are." Andy sighed. "And you need to cooperate with the nurse and with the police." He took the hospital gown. "I'm gonna call the nurse and she'll help you put this on, okay?"

"No." Sharon called out. "I want you to help me."

"You do realize that in order to help you put this on, you'll have to take off your clothes. Are you comfortable with that?" he asked. She was trying so hard to act normal that she was not even able to understand how abnormal her situation was.

"Yes, I know that. I still want you to do it." she said.

"I'll try my best not to look." he smiled, but his eyes were serious. Sharon tried to unbutton her shirt but the swollen wrist made it impossible for her to grab the buttons between her fingers. "Do you want me to do that?" Andy offered. She nodded slowly and Andy quickly unbuttoned her shirt, gently sliding it off her shoulders and putting it in one of the paper bags that usually came with the rape kit. He tried his best to ignore the bruises on her torso and chest. It made him feel phantom pains, as if the bruises were on his body. Sharon reached for the zipper of her skirt and slid it down. Andy helped her take it off and put it in another paper bag. "You will need to remove your underwear. Want me to call the nurse?" she shook her head.

"I can deal with it." she said. "Just give me a moment." She took a deep breath and pursed her lips as she looked into his eyes. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be." she said, her voice shaking. Andy quickly reached behind her back, unhooking the clasp of her bra. Holding up the hospital gown, he looked away as she removed her bra and slid her arms into the sleeves. She removed her panties and folded them neatly, pushing them into a paper bag, along with the bra. "I think you need to tie this thing." she said and Andy nodded and tied her gown.

"Now lie down. I'll call the nurse, see if SVU are here and we'll see what's next."

Sharon was lying in a hospital bed in the general ward. Andy was holding an icepack on her swollen face and looking at her with a worried gaze. It seemed that she was slowly internalizing what had happened to her and it was quite painful to watch this process. After SVU arrived, took her pictures and completed the rape kit, she was sent to radiology for an x-ray. Her wrist was fractured and her ankle was sprained, and both would take longer than a month to heal. As bad as those news were, it was the worst of it.

"Andy," she was a little groggy. "I had an accident."

"What?" Andy wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but he certainly hoped it didn't mean what he thought it meant.

"That's what we are going to tell Rusty. I had a car accident, Alex was not wearing a seatbelt and he died. I did and this is why I survived." she explained.

"Rusty is smart, Sharon. He's gonna figure it out the moment he sees you." Andy said. "And he will be angry at you for not telling him the truth."

"I can't tell him the truth. He's too sensitive." Sharon replied. "We will tell him that I had an accident. I'll be okay in a few days. When all those wounds heal, I'll forget this ever happened to me."

"I will lie to Rusty if that's what you want but don't fool yourself. The fact that you're going to lie about it doesn't mean that you'll be able to forget what had happened to you." Andy said. "You will remember this for the rest of your life."


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: First of all, I would like to start with an apology for not putting trigger alerts in chapters 17 and 18. I do want to point out that for a long time after I added the warnings, other people who read it could not see it. So that part was actually beyond my control. I also want to use this chance to thank all the readers, followers, reviewers and critics (yup, got a few of those too) and say that I hope you are enjoying this story (and also my other ones as well, if you read them).

**Warning**: This chapter is rated T for inappropriate language.

* * *

Andy arranged for Rusty to get picked up for school before Sharon was released from the hospital. He hoped that once they get back home, Sharon will be able to get some sleep, but he doubted it. He met quite a few rape victims as part of his work and he knew that sleep was not easy to get, especially during the first days. He knew that Sharon wanted to take a shower, but he wasn't sure how this would work with the cast on her arm and the bandage on her foot.

Being as gentle as he could, he carried her into the house and laid her in his bed. She needed to sleep in a real bed, he thought. The couch was not good for a person with fractured limbs. Malin followed them and jumped on the bed, snuggling in the curve of Sharon's waist. Sharon wrapped her healthy arm around the dog and pulled her close to her, burying her face in the soft fur.

"Thank you, Andy." she said. "You should go and get some sleep." Andy wasn't sure how she was able to be so composed. His insides were burning with rage. If he got his hands on that scumbag, he would break each and every bone in his body. He went out of the room, leaving the door open in case she needed anything and went into the kitchen to grab a bite only to find out that his appetite was completely gone. He found it quite macabre that Sharon had to endure so much pain and trouble lately. He crushed on the couch, exhausted. There was heaviness in his chest, as if his breath was locked inside his lungs. His heart was pounding and his feelings were all over the place. It's been a very long time since he felt so many emotions at once. It was overwhelming and he could only imagine what Sharon was feeling. He sank deep in thoughts, trying to figure out how this will affect Sharon in the long run; will she stay in his house out of fear? Will she find comfort in vengeance? Will she even deal with what had happened to her at all or try to bury it, ignore it, and push it to the back of her mind until some day she'll explode? Whatever happens, he will need to be there for her, support her, give her confidence and strength to carry on, he thought.

* * *

Rusty was surprised to find Andy waiting for him outside of school. He had a bad feeling all day long, especially after Sharon never came back home the previous night from her date with Alex. It wasn't like her not to call and even though she promised him that she'll never leave him, he started doubting her words. All day long he replayed his interactions with her in his mind. Was he rude or unkind to her during the last few days? He wondered.

He entered Andy's car and buckled up. Usually, Andy was funny and talkative, but today he looked tired and serious. Something must have happened, Rusty thought. His heart raced as he looked at Andy, waiting for him to either speak or drive.

"Rusty," Andy's voice was hoarse. "Last night Sharon was involved in a car accident while she was out on her date. She's okay, don't worry. She was wearing a seatbelt, but Alex was killed." Andy hated lying to the kid, but that's what Sharon wanted.

"Is she in the hospital?" Rusty asked.

"No, they released her this morning. She broke her wrist, sprained her ankle. Those are the worst injuries she sustained." Andy explained, "You'll see bruises on her arms and face. She's got a black eye."

"How can it be that she survived and Alex was killed?" Rusty had a bad feeling that Andy was not telling him the truth.

"The other car hit the driver's side of Alex's car and he wasn't wearing a seatbelt. He died from internal bleeding." In his head, Andy listed the ways in which he could make that sleazebag die of an internal bleeding.

"But she'll be okay, right?" Rusty asked.

"She's upset, but eventually she'll be fine." Andy replied. "Let's go home."

Rusty walked down the hall to Andy's room. His heart was pounding louder and faster with every step he took. Andy warned him that Sharon's face looked bad, but he still wasn't sure what to expect. He stood at the doorway, staring at her for a few moments.

"Sharon," his voice shook. She looked at him and attempted to smile, but it was painful and it seemed to scare Rusty.

"Come, sit here." She patted the bed with her healthy hand. Rusty came into the room and took a seat on the bed. He looked at her, trying not to turn his face away. The swollen lip and black eye were not a result of a car accident. He could tell that right away. He was beaten up too many times to not be able to notice that this was the work of a fist. He could feel the rage building up in his stomach, full blown and overwhelming and he got up and walked out of the room, finding Andy throwing a tennis ball against the wall in the patio.

"You lied about the accident." he called out towards Andy. " It was him, right? It was that ugly-faced realtor."

"Rusty," Andy put down the ball and looked at him.

"Is he really dead? Did she shoot him?" he asked before Andy could continue. "Did she kill that bastard? Because if she didn't I will. I'll strangle him." Andy put his arms on Rusty's shoulder.

"Listen, kid…" he didn't know what to say or how to address the matter.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth? What did he do to her?" Rusty was now crying, rage and tears mixing together in his eyes. Andy could only identify with those feelings.

"You need to discuss this with her, Rusty." Andy replied. He couldn't look into Rusty's eyes. It was just too painful. He wrapped one arm around Rusty's shoulder and they walked into the kitchen together. "Go talk to her." Andy encouraged him and Rusty went back to the bedroom. Sharon was still in the same position, her eyes staring blankly at the wall and her mouth slightly open.

"Can you just tell me the truth?" Rusty's eyes begged her. "It was Alex who did it to you, wasn't it?" He didn't really need her to answer. He already knew.

"Rusty, come sit here. We'll talk about this, okay?" Sharon said and Rusty took a seat on the bed again. "It was Alex." she confirmed.

"Did he…" Rusty couldn't utter the words. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that.

"He tried to." Sharon said. She knew this was hard for the both of them, but this talk needed to happen. "I fought him and ran away from there. He hurt me and it feels bad, but it could have ended much worse."

"What's going to happen?" Rusty asked.

"He will be arrested and there might be a trial." Sharon explained.

"I don't care about him. I asked about you. What's gonna happen with you?"

"I will be staying at home for a while and then I will do the best that I can to return to normal." Sharon tried to sound confident, but she didn't feel this way. She felt crushed, more than anything.

"I'm scared." Rusty admitted. It was quite unusual to hear such a confession from him.

"So am I. It's okay for us to be scared. This is a scary experience." Sharon confirmed.

"Will you have to go to a shrink?" Rusty asked.

"Probably." Sharon sighed. "It will make it easier for me to come to terms with it, but I'm not sure I'm ready to analyze my feelings at the moment."

"Is there something I can do for you?" Rusty asked.

"A hug from you would mean a lot to me." Sharon replied. Rusty gently and sloppily wrapped his arms around her. "You can hug tighter. I won't break." she said and Rusty tightened his arms just a little bit. He rested his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes. They only shared one hug before. It was on the day he was beaten up by Daniel Dunn and when she wrapped her arms around him that day, he could feel all of her love for him which she didn't know how to express openly. He wanted to show her the same thing, and the hug seemed to be the only reasonable way to do that. He thought he heard her sniffle, but told himself it couldn't be. Sharon never cried in front of people, not even in front of him. But then he heard it again and he felt her warm tears falling on his shoulder.


	20. Chapter 20

**Warning**: this chapter contains matter which is related to rape and sexual assault. No descriptions. Mainly just mentions.

* * *

Going back to work was harder than Sharon thought it would. It seemed that gossip about her sudden leave of absence had spread like wildfire. She wasn't sure who spread the information, but the moment she walked out of the elevator and entered the murder room she knew that someone had a slip of tongue. Andy didn't prepare her for this, she thought. He didn't tell her that people were talking and what they were talking about. Was he the one who said something or was it someone from SVU who couldn't keep it confidential. Assistant Chief Taylor called her over and informed her that Chief Pope had summoned her for a meeting.

Pope closed a thick file that was placed on the table in front of him and then looked into her eyes, as if he was expecting her to confess something. He patted the file and slid it towards her. If she had enough luck, it was just a case gone wrong, she thought.

"This is for you," he said. "I got it from SVU."

"What is it?" Sharon wasn't sure she wanted to look at this file at all.

"SVU match the DNA evidence collected from you to 5 other cases." Pope explained. "All of them are brutal, extremely violent rape cases. You should consider yourself lucky."

"Lucky?" Sharon spat the word.

"Yes, these women will be scarred for life." Pope's words made Sharon want to slap him, an urge she rarely felt. Did the fact that she was assaulted rather than raped make her trauma less important? It certainly didn't make her lucky.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I disagree with this statement." she said. "I am as affected by this assault as any other woman he raped."

"I apologize, then." Pope said absent-mindedly, as if she was bugging him. "But this is not why I wanted to meet with you." he continued. "You see, we know of 6 victims of this guy's sexual crimes including you, and only two of those women would be willing to testify against him in court."

"So you want me to testify?" Sharon asked.

"No. I want you to refuse to testify, so we can save the city some money and make a deal with this guy." Pope's voice sounded almost cheerful when he said that.

"What kind of deal?" Sharon asked.

"Eleven years in prison and three years of probation." Pope replied.

"Eleven years? This man ruined the lives of six women and he walks away with eleven years?" She could not control her rage.

"Think about it for a moment. Only two women are willing to testify against him, he's got no prior convictions, so **if** he's convicted, the maximum penalty he could get is sixteen years and even then he could get an early release and be out within ten years. If we make this deal, he'll serve full eleven years in prison, save the city some money and his victims will not have to re-live their trauma in court." Pope explained.

"If you have it all figured out, then why are you asking me?" Sharon frowned.

"Well, as you know, Chief Johnson… I mean Brenda works at the DA's office and when she heard about it, she called me and demanded that I present this deal to you before I make it." Pope replied. Sharon was taken by surprise. She didn't think that Brenda would ever be on her side.

"Was Tremblay presented with this deal?" she asked.

"No." Pope said.

"Do I have any say in this?"

"You can make a suggestion." Pope replied.

"Twelve years in prison, five years of probation." Sharon stated. "And if you can't close this deal, I will testify against him in court. That will make three testimonies."

"Actually, it will make two." Pope said. "This is why we're settling with him in the first place."

"You said two women are willing to testify against him." Sharon squinted. Pope leaned back in his chair and entwined his arms on his chest.

"Yeah, that included you." He responded.


	21. Chapter 21

Andy watched Sharon as she walked into her office, closed the door behind her and shut the blinds. By the way she walked he could see that she was distracted and upset. It was only her first day back, he reasoned, of course she would be upset. He might have made a mistake by not telling her that someone exposed what happened to her in the office. In fact, he knew that it wasn't only in the office. Anyone who ever encountered Captain Raydor as part of their job, everyone who ever heard her name knew what happened. Over the last few days five different people asked him if he heard what had happened to her. He brushed them off, telling them to mind their own business, but he couldn't stop the gossip. She was probably used to being called a bitch or being ignored, but now simply walking into the room made her the center of attention. It was not the kind of attention she wanted to attract and he knew it. He knocked on her door, hoping that he could help her somehow.

"I'm busy." She called out. Her voice sounded strange, muffled and sad.

"Sharon, it's me. I'm coming in." he said and opened the door, quickly slipping into the room. She was sitting at her table, her eyes bloodshot and her face wet.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, knowing it was a stupid question.

"Pope is going to make a deal with Tremblay." she replied, sniffling. "He raped five women and he's only going to serve eleven or twelve years." Andy took a seat in front of her and reached out for her hand, squeezing it gently, as if to reassure her.

"Pope's an ass. Tremblay is a bigger ass." The way he said that made her smile through her tears.

"The squad… They know what happened, don't they?" She asked, wiping her tears away.

"Yes, I don't know who leaked this information, but someone did and now people are talking about it."

"Things like this tend to get around." Sharon sighed. She wasn't pleased with this situation. Her privacy was very important to her, but it seemed she had very little choice. "I better deal with it and put all the rumors to rest." she said and got up.

"Wait a minute," Andy touched her arm gently. "Are you going to just tell them what happened?"

"Yes. I need to have some control over this situation." she replied.

"Are you sure about it? Once you say it out in the open, you can't take it back." Andy said.

"There's no point in hiding it, Andy. They already know something is up. It's better to address it than to ignore it." Sharon said. "And in order to deal with this, I will need as much support as I can get from the people around me."

"I support you." Andy said. "I'm here for you. I hope you know that."

"I do, Andy, and it means a lot to me." Her voice was soft and for the first time since the assault Andy saw her smiling; a real smile that reached her eyes. "Okay, let's do this." She took a deep breath before going out of her office. "Everyone, can I have your attention please?" She asked and the entire squad turned to look at her. "I know that there have been rumors going around here regarding the leave of absence I took," She could see the surprise on their faces. "So I'm going to tell you about it." She took another deep breath, feeling her heart rate increasing. "The reason I had to take a leave of absence is that I was sexually assaulted by a man I was seeing. I suffered some physical injuries and I needed to take the time to heal." she paused, "Emotionally – I still have a long road ahead of me and I don't know if it's going to take me months or years to feel normal again," her voice shook a little, but she inhaled deeply and forced on a smile. "If you have any questions, you can ask them now. I will try to answer them to the best of my ability." An awkward silence spread around the room. The members of the squad looked at each other.

"Does Rusty know?" Provenza took the initiative to speak first.

"Yes, he does. He's struggling with it and we're helping each other." Sharon replied.

"Is there going to be a trial?" Sanchez asked.

"Probably not. Chief Pope will offer a deal to the man who attacked me. If he accepts it, he will be imprisoned for eleven or twelve years. The DA is still working on it." Sharon said.

"So he attacked other women before." Provenza spoke.

"Yes. He brutally raped five other women." Sharon said.

"How come is Pope going to settle for eleven years?" Provenza raged. He never liked the deal-making policy the police took on.

"It's the best solution possible. It saves money for the city and it will also be easier for the women he hurt if they don't have to testify." Sharon explained. "I can't say I like this deal. I think he should get the full sentence for every sexual crime he committed, but it's the best way to make sure he pays for what he's done."

"I don't have a question," Sykes said, "but I just want to tell you that you are inspiring. I appreciate it that you took the time to share this with us and if you ever need anything, you can count on me."

"Thank you, Amy. That's very kind." Sharon smiled at her.

"So what's going to happen now?" Tao asked.

"We're going to go on as usual. I want all of you to treat me just like you did before this happened." she said.

"So I can go back to hating you?" Provenza's question made Sharon smile.

"Yes, you most certainly can."


	22. Chapter 22

**Warning**: This chapter contains some references to sexual assault.

* * *

Sharon felt hands grabbing her and shaking her. She tried to fight her attacker, until she realized it was Andy. She was dreaming again, she realized. The nightmares came from nowhere, a few days after she returned to work. She couldn't remember them once she woke up, but she knew she had them.

"Did I scream again?" She panted and her skin was sweaty. Andy nodded. "I'm sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep." she said and laid back down.

"Wake me up if you need anything." Andy said before he went back to his room. Once her hand and ankle healed, Sharon insisted on sleeping on the couch again. She didn't feel comfortable stealing his bed. Sitting in the dark, she realized that she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. Her eyes searched for Malin. She found the dog's presence comforting. Malin had a wise gaze in her eyes, even though she was still a puppy and she seemed to be able to understand and react to Sharon's different moods and feelings in a way that humans couldn't. She found Malin curling at her feet and she wrapped her arms around her, gently stroking her soft fur.

"Sharon?" Rusty came into the living room. He was wiping his eyes and looking a little wobbly.

"Oh, no. Did I wake you up?" Sharon felt bad. Her assault has affected Rusty and on top of having to deal with her own feelings about it, she also had to worry about Rusty's emotional state.

"It's okay." He crushed on the couch next to her. "I couldn't sleep anyway."

"You have school tomorrow," she said.

"I'm not going." Rusty declared.

"Of course you are." Sharon sighed. "Listen, we have to try to go back to a normal life and that means going to school and to work and doing everything we used to do before this has happened."

"You think that if you pretend that everything is okay it will make all of this go away?" Rusty asked. "Nothing is normal anymore, Sharon. I don't want to pretend that things are normal."

"I know that things are different now, Rusty. I'm dealing with this the best way that I can. We can't run away from life. It would just make it harder to live them." Sharon said.

"This is not living, Sharon. You are flying on automatic pilot mode since the day this had happened. You get up in the morning, go to work, get back, eat, and go to sleep. You barely talk, you stopped reading, you don't listen to music or watch TV anymore; you stopped looking for houses too. You are not 'you' anymore." She could see tears shining in Rusty's eyes.

"What if I arranged for you to stay with someone else for a while, just until I am able to get back on my feet?" she offered.

"No. You promised that you will not leave me." Rusty protested.

"Don't you think that you could benefit from spending some time away from me in my current state?"

"A few months ago when you took me in, you were willing to accept me as I am with all of my troubles and you let me become part of your life." Rusty said after a minute's thought. "Now you are part of my life and I want you to remain in it, even if you have troubles." His voice was shaking, but he looked into her eyes as he said it.

"You are sweet, Rusty." She put her palm on his cheek and caressed it. "I wish I knew what I can do to make it better for you."

"Just try to be more like the old you." Rusty replied.

* * *

Trying to be 'her old self' again sounded easy, but in reality it was an exhausting task. It included a lot of pretending, especially around Rusty. The next day after their late-night talk, she came home earlier than usual and cooked dinner for Andy and Rusty, which surprised the both of them, especially because it was quite tasty. The day after that, she came to watch Rusty's chess tournament and then took him out for dinner. She tried to appear more involved in life, smile at him more often, be tough when needed, but it didn't feel natural to her. At nights, the nightmares plagued her. After eating, she would feel nauseous and when she had to concentrate in something that was important to Rusty, such as a TV show he liked to watch, she would get a killer headache. But it was worth it, she told herself, if it made him feel better, she'd do it.

She parked her car in front of Andy's house and picked up the groceries from her trunk. She figured that if she was not going to move out of his house soon, she could at least do the shopping and help out with the cleaning. It was the least she could do. Andy and Rusty had left the office earlier and she hoped that they made dinner already, because she didn't feel like cooking today. The house was quiet when she came in. Almost as if there was no one there.

"I'm home!" she called out, hoping that maybe they were not there and she could spend some time on her own.

"Oh, finally. We thought you'll never return." Andy came out of his room. He was in the middle of knotting his tie and he was wearing a very fancy suit.

"I was shopping for food." she replied. She remembered telling him that she was going to the grocery store before they left the office. She walked into the kitchen and started putting the groceries in the fridge and cabinets. Rusty came into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm putting things in their place." She replied without looking at him. "Can you help me?" Rusty sighed and came to help her putting the groceries in the fridge. "Rusty, why are you wearing this?" Sharon looked at him suspiciously. Rusty was wearing the suit that she bought him for the dinner with Daniel Dunn a few months earlier. "Is there some event at school?" She casted her mind back and tried to remember if he told her of any official school event, but nothing came up.

"No, we're going out, all of us." Rusty replied. "Let me finish up here and go take a shower, because we need to be out by 8 pm."

"Where are we going?" Sharon squinted. It seemed like Rusty and Andy cooked up something without her knowledge and she wasn't sure she liked that.

"It's a surprise, but dress really fancy." Rusty said. She tried to give him her well known glare, but he didn't seem to be affected. If Andy and Rusty dressed fancy, it couldn't be something she wouldn't be able to handle, she thought. She threw a glance at her watch. She only had an hour to get ready.

Andy let her use his room to dress up. A few weeks earlier when it became clear that she and Rusty were going to stay in his house longer than they originally expected, he made some room for Sharon's clothes in his closet. Sharon stared into her part of the closet and wondered if any of this really mattered anymore, but despite her will to stay at home and just get some rest, she picked a dark purple evening dress and put it on. It's been a while since she last wore a fancy outfit, a month, two weeks and three days, to be exact – on the night she went to the ballet with Tremblay. She shivered as she thought of that night. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the thought out of her mind. This night was important to Rusty and Andy and she couldn't ruin it with negative thoughts, she told herself. Skillfully, she curled her hair and pinned part of it up, leaving some strands of hair in the front out of the bun.

"You look great." Andy said when she came out of the room, ready to leave.

"Can any of you please give me a hint where we're going?" She asked.

"We're going to do something you really like." Rusty replied.

"Which is…"

"You asked for a hint, he gave you a hint." Andy smirked. "Now let's go." He took his car keys and they went into the garage and entered the car.

"Come on, you two!" Sharon said in annoyed tone, "I don't like surprises. Where are we going?"

"Should we tell her?" Andy grinned at Rusty.

"Of course you should tell me." Sharon said.

"Okay," Rusty chuckled. "We're going to the ballet." The last word echoed in Sharon's ears for a long moment. An involuntary image crept into her mind: Tremblay, holding two tickets in his hand, telling her that he was taking her to the ballet.

"Sharon, are you okay?" Andy's voice yanked the image out of her head.

"What?" she asked with confusion.

"You looked a little zoned out for a moment." Andy replied.

"I'm okay." Sharon forced on a smile. "The ballet, it's great. You'll love it, Rusty." She tried to sound enthusiastic about it. It was clear to her that their intentions were good and besides, the ballet was truly wonderful. She always enjoyed it and she would probably enjoy it again tonight, she thought.

"So what are we going to watch?" She asked a short while later, when they all went out of Andy's car and walked towards the theatre. Rusty pulled out the tickets out of his pocket and waved them in the air.

"Guess." he smiled.

"Swan Lake?" Sharon asked.

"Guess again." Rusty shook his head.

"I don't know. Maybe you could give me a hint." Sharon sighed. She really wasn't up to a guessing game.

"It has dancers in it." Rusty grinned at his own joke.

"The Nutcracker? Romeo and Juliet?" Sharon guessed.

"None of these." Rusty replied. "We're going to watch your favorite ballet; Giselle." As he said those words, Sharon's heart started pounding so fast that she thought it was going to leap out of her chest.

"Sharon?" Andy seemed to notice that something was up.

"It's nothing." she said, "I'm just surprised that you remembered my favorite ballet, that's all. That's very kind of you." She forced a smile and motioned towards the entrance. They entered the theatre and took their seats. Andy got them seats in one of the boxes and Sharon's bad feeling slowly evaporated upon discovering it. From experience, she knew how difficult it was to get such great seats at the theatre.

"So what's the story of this ballet?" Rusty asked after they took their seats.

"Well, you'll see soon, but generally, Giselle is a village girl who falls in love with Prince Albrecht who pretends to be a peasant named Loys. But there's another guy called Hilarion who's also in love with Giselle and he's tries to win her over by telling her about the true identity of Prince Albrecht." Sharon explained. "She finds out that the prince is engaged to another woman, Bathilda and she goes mad and dies."

"Oh, that's sad." Rusty replied.

"Wait, that's only the first act." Sharon grinned. "In the second act, Hilarion is mourning at Giselle's grave and he runs off by the Wilis. The Wilis are spirits of girls who died because their lovers hurt them and they take revenge upon dancing men to death. Giselle rises from her grave and then Prince Albrecht comes in and sees her."

"I get it; she makes him dance until he dies." Rusty said.

"No, she forgives him and saves him from the Wilis. But the Wilis make Hilarion dance like a madman until he drowns in a nearby lake." As she said those words, the lights in the theatre were dimmed and the screen was drawn aside, exposing the set of a little middle ages village. The music started playing as the first characters came on stage. The first notes hit Sharon's ears in an unusual cacophony and made her flinch in her seat. She looked at Andy and Rusty and then at the people around her. She must have been the only one who was affected by this, she realized. It must have only been in her head. She sighed and went back to look at the dancers on the stage. When Giselle came on stage and saw Prince Albrecht, the music turned irritating again. It trickled into Sharon's veins and made her freeze in her seat. She felt her heart beating faster and faster as the image of Tremblay taking her hand in this very theatre popped in front of her eyes. The music went on, infusing images of Tremblay assaulting her on his couch into her mind. The images were vivid and it took her a moment to realize that there was no music playing at his apartment when he attacked her. This was not happening again, it was all in her head. She got up from her seat and quickly went out of the box, breathing heavily once she was outside, in the light. She galloped to the restroom and her knees barely reached the floor before she started throwing up and crying at the same time. She heard a knock on the door.

"Sharon?" It was Andy's voice. She sighed, wiping her mouth with toilet paper. "Sharon, if you don't answer I'm coming in." She dragged herself of the floor, tears still flowing from her eyes. She heard the squeak of the door and he came into the restroom at the same moment she came out of the bathroom cell. "What happened?" he asked, a shocked expression registering across his face.

"I'm sorry." she cried. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't… the music, it was just too…" Andy looked at her with confusion. Her words didn't make much sense.

"The music was too loud?" he tried.

"No." She sniffled, tears still streaming down her face. "The music reminded me of **him**."

"Tremblay?" Andy asked. "He took you here on that night? To see the same ballet?" She nodded slowly. "That sleazebag!" Andy raged and it made Sharon cry even louder and Andy drew her into his arms, not even bothering to ask if it was okay with her. "What do you want to do? You want to leave?"

"We can't leave. You bought tickets and I want Rusty to watch it." Sharon replied.

"I don't want you to wait for us outside and you obviously can't go back if it makes you feel this way." Andy said, thinking as he spoke. "Will you be able to drive home or would you rather take a cab?"

"I can drive." she said.

"Okay. I'll go back in there, watch the rest of the ballet with Rusty and we'll take a cab back." He took his car keys out of his pocket and handed them to her. "Text me when you get home." he said. "Oh, and my house key is on the same ring as the car key, so give me yours." Sharon dug the key out of her purse and handed it to him.

"Thank you, Andy." she said softly, "I know that your intention was good. I'm sorry for making such a mess. Tell Rusty not to worry, okay?"

"Sure." Andy replied. Sharon took his hand.

"I don't know what I would have done without you." she said and dropped a soft, gentle kiss on his cheek before she left the restroom.


	23. Chapter 23

Sharon unlocked the door and went into the house. She was tired, exhausted really. She cried her eyes out on the way home and her face was still wet from the tears, stained with makeup stained and her eyes were swollen and bloodshot. She dragged her feet down the hall and entered Andy's room. As tired and upset as she was, leaving her clothes in a mess was out of the question. She took off her dress and neatly hung it in the closet and she took her pins out of her hair, letting her mane of curls fall on her back. She stared into the closet, her eyes scanning its content from top to bottom. She wanted to wear something cozy and comforting. Her pajamas were none of these. Her eyes wandered to Andy's part of the closet, settling on a worn-out hoodie and a pair of track pants. It looked very snug and that was her choice. Normally, she would stay out of his side of the closet, not touch his things, but just tonight, she needed to wear something homely, something that would make her feel secure. Before the assault, she felt secure in high heels and tight designer dresses. Now it became a great discomfort, hugging her body too tightly, choking her. She put on Andy's outfit and sighed. It had his smell. It was a mix of sweet and sour and it made the clothes feel even more comfy than before. Now in clothes that could give her some assurance, she felt extremely tired, much too tired to walk back to the living room. Andy's bed looked very appealing. She could sit on it, just for a moment until she finds the energy to walk back to the living room and crush on the couch.

Andy walked into his room, yawning as he came through the door. The light in the room was on and he could see Sharon, half sitting and half lying on the far side of his bed. She was wearing something that she probably pulled out of his closet and he smiled to himself. Unknotting his tie and hanging his jacket in the closet, he walked over to her and gently lifted her legs to the bed. Her eyes fluttered open sleepily.

"Oh, no." She mumbled. "I didn't mean to fall asleep here." She tried to get up, but Andy shook his head.

"It's okay. You had a rough evening. You deserve to get a good night's sleep."

"I don't want to take your bed." she protested, her voice was faint.

"Don't worry about it." he assured her and was about to walk away when she caught his arm.

"It's a big bed. We could share it." she said. Andy stared at her for a moment. Did she really just say that or was it just in his head? He wondered.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"We're not children. We can handle that." She replied. "Just don't touch me at night and I'll be fine. Which is your side?"

"I usually sleep in the middle, so it doesn't really matter." Andy said. "You can go back to sleep. I'll go change and get back here." He left the room, turning the light off on his way out. When he came back, a few minutes later, she was already fast asleep.

Sharon rolled in bed, trying to get one more moment of sleep, fighting her body to keep it from waking up. She was already somewhere in the middle between sleep and wakefulness and she didn't want it to end, not just yet. She didn't have any nightmares, at least not any that she could recall and a few more minutes of a peaceful slumber could be precious. Her hand touched something soft and then her face bumped into it. A pillow, she figured and wrapped her arms around it, burying her face in its softness. Against her will, she felt her eyelids fluttering open and sighed. Sleep was now light years away from her. She sat in bed and her eyes caught Andy, also stretching is bed and a small wall of pillows between them.

"Why all the pillows?" she asked, arching her eyebrows.

"You asked me not to touch you at night, so I put a barrier to make sure I..." He did not anticipate the smile on her face. "What?"

"Nothing." she responded. "It's just very sweet that you've done that. Thank you."

"Did you sleep well?" Andy asked.

"Yes." She said, only now noticing that she was wearing his clothes. "I'm sorry that I raided your closet, I just needed something comfy."

"Don't worry about it. You can keep it if you want." He smiled.

"Did you and Rusty enjoy last night?" She hated to spoil the sweet conversation by bringing it up, but it was necessary.

"The ballet was nice. I think Rusty was mostly enthusiastic about it because he thought you'd enjoy it, but he seemed interested enough." Andy replied.

"I'm so sorry for ruining it for you guys."

"It wasn't your fault. Rusty understood it as well. He was a little upset, wanted to call you, but I just told him that you needed some time for yourself. I hope that's okay." Andy said.

"Yes, thank you for being so considerate, Andy." Sharon couldn't even begin to describe to him how thankful she felt. "I know that before all of this happened, you were upset with me and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I really am."

"It's all forgotten and forgiven now." Andy offered a comforting smile.

"You know, the sad thing is that you were the right choice all along." Tears welled in her eyes. "If I chose you instead of Tremblay, none of this would have happened. All of us would be happy now."

"Sharon, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't know that he is such a monster. He manipulated you and made you think that he was charming." Andy's voice was soft but inside he was raging. Men like Tremblay who manipulated women were sickening.

"But I believed him." she cried.

"Can I?" Andy opened his arms and she nodded slowly. He wrapped his arms around her and she sank into his chest.

"Everything is so screwed up." she sobbed.

"It's just temporary. Eventually you will be able to heal and be stronger. And I will be here for you." Andy said.

"You don't have to. I was horrible to you." Sharon lifted her head from his chest and looked into his eyes.

"I was quite mean to you as well." Andy cupped her cheek with his palm and wiped the tears with his thumb. "And I will be here for you because I want to."

"I like you a lot, Andy, but maybe it's better if you reconsider this." Sharon sniffled. "I don't think that I have anything to give you back."

"It's fine with me, because I'm not expecting anything in return." Andy replied.


	24. Chapter 24

**Warning: **this chapter contains descriptions of a gory crime scene and a sexual crime. Rated M.

* * *

Andy rolled in bed, his arm accidentally pushing over a pillow to Sharon's side. She moaned in her sleep and sent her arm forward to move it back, but felt Andy's hand instead. Her fingers curled around his and he seemed to be responding to her touch even though they were both sleeping.

The phone rang at 5 am and startled both of them. Andy picked it up and mumbled into it, sighing in despair as he understood that he had to get up. Sharon looked at him, only now noticing that they were holding hands through the hole in the wall of pillows between them. They both pulled their hands at once, as if they were touching fire.

"Crime scene?" Sharon asked sleepily.

"Unfortunately." Andy replied, sounding just as sleepy as she was. Sharon sighed as she pulled herself out of bed and dragged her feet down the hall and into the bathroom. Andy could hear the sound of water running in the shower and he also drew himself out of bed and walked to the kitchen, turning the coffee-machine on. He knew that Sharon would appreciate a latte and he would certainly appreciate a cup of dark coffee.

Sharon came into the kitchen, glasses in one hand and a towel in the other, drying her hair. Usually she used a flat iron before she went to work, but she wasn't planning on doing it this morning. It would consume too much time and she decided to leave it natural today, in its rich wavy form, the one that no one even knew she had. Andy handed her a cup of coffee.

"You're a life-saver." she moaned. He flashed a cheeky grin.

"That's my middle name." Despite the early hour and her exhaustion, his comment made her smile. He had that quality, she thought, that so many other men lacked. Even at the most inappropriate times, he could make her feel better with a sarcastic comment.

* * *

They walked into the crime scene. It was a townhouse in a rather poor area. The hall was spattered with blood and there were drag marks on the floor and walls. The entire squad was already there.

"Prepare yourself, Captain." Tao stood in the doorway, blocking the way into the house. "The scene is gory." Sharon nodded slowly and he moved from the doorway, pointing at some point on the floor that were not covered in blood and where she could place her feet.

"What happened here?" she asked, her voice shaking. She's never seen such a huge amount of blood in a crime scene before.

"The victim is a girl in her teens. It seemed that she was stabbed in her stomach multiple times in the entrance, dragged herself down the hall all the way to the kitchen," he led her to the kitchen, where the body of a naked girl was laying on the floor with the house phone in her hand. A paramedic was kneeling next to her and examining her wounds.

"Was she the one who called 911?" she asked Tao.

"Yes. She managed to place a call to 911 but she died before they arrived." Tao replied.

"I take it that you're the incident commander?" Sharon assumed and Tao confirmed. "Please send someone to get the recording of the 911 call." she said. "Maybe it can give us some information of what happened." Tao nodded and left the kitchen. Sharon could feel the nausea forming in her stomach and she swallowed hard as she kneeled next to the body. "Can we assume that the cause of death is loss of blood?" she asked the paramedic.

"Yes. I can see four different entry wounds, seems like the murder weapon is a switchblade knife, but the coroner needs to confirm that first."

"Is there any sign of sexual assault?" Sharon's nausea became stronger as the words left her mouth.

"Too much blood, but it seems like she has some bruising in her inner thighs." The paramedic shrugged. She thanked him and hurried to leave the kitchen, pushing away the thought of Tremblay's hand sliding between her thighs. She shuddered; it felt so real, even though she knew it was happening in her head. She found Andy and Sanchez in the living room.

"Who owns this house?" she asked them.

"The girl's mother." Andy replied and looked at a piece of paper in his hand. "Lisa Greenfield."

"Where is she?"

"She's attending a convention in Sacramento. We already contacted her." Provenza came down the stairs.

"Does our victim have a name?" Sharon suddenly remembered the first thing Andy taught her. Always refer the victim by their name. Provenza looked at an ID card that he was holding in his hand.

"I found it in her room," he said and seemed to hesitate.

"Does it have her name?" Sharon asked. She didn't like asking the same question twice. Provenza looked at the ID card again and then at Sharon.

"Sharon," he said.

"What?" she asked, feeling quite annoyed. She hated it when Provenza tried to avoid giving a direct answer and the sickness in her stomach made her edgier.

"Her name is Sharon." he said, shrugging at Andy who glared at him. He handed her the card he was holding.

"She's fifteen," Sharon said after examining the card, feeling the content of her stomach climbing up her throat. "Get me out of here. I think I'm gonna be sick." she said and felt Andy's hand around her shoulders, leading her out of the house and off the Greenfields' lawn. She fell down to her knees and started throwing up into the bushes. Andy held her hair. It was the best he could do for her.

"Another memory from your assault?" he asked as she panted, wiping tears with her sleeve.

"I'm sorry." She buried her face in her palms. "It's so stupid. And I'm utterly gross now. Can you find me some wipes?"

"Sure." Andy said and left her side to get her something to wipe her face with. He came back moments later and handed her a wet cloth and a mint-flavored gum. She thanked him. "Do you want to go home?"

"I'm okay now. Thank you." she replied. "I'll just stay out of the crime scene. Please wrap it up here and send someone outside to give me a briefing."

* * *

As the day progressed, it became clear to the squad that this case would not be easy to deal with. It seemed that the case was particularly affecting the Captain to the extent that the victim's name would made her eyes tear up and that she had run to the rest room three times and came out with bloodshot eyes and red nose after finding out that the victim was raped by her assailant. Flynn also seemed to be quite moody in her presence and he followed her like a puppy, making sure she's okay every single time she seemed down and constantly reminding them to use the words 'Young Greenfield' instead of the victim's first name. None of them dared to complain. It was obvious to them that the Captain's personal experience made it hard for her to detach herself from this case, but she insisted that she needed to be on the case.

She was sitting in her office, reading some files. It seemed safe enough and didn't trigger any memories so far, but she could still feel deep and uncontrolled fury rising in her, making her hands shake. She wanted to throw things. Most of the time, when she felt like this at home, she would go and play fetch with Malin. It was helpful, but Malin wasn't in her office and even if she would, she couldn't take the liberty to throw tennis balls around the murder room for the dog to catch. She heard a faint knock on the door.

"Come in," she said, not moving her eyes from the file she was reading. Andy opened the door and entered her office.

"It's late. Everyone already left." he said.

"I'm almost done." she replied, her eyes scanning the last lines on the paper. "I was impossible today, wasn't I?" she asked in a rather monotonous tone.

"Everyone understood. Don't worry about it." Andy shrugged as if it was no big deal. He knew that it was in fact a very big deal for Sharon. She didn't like looking vulnerable in front of the squad and she always tried to keep her private life and her work separate.

"I feel like shooting someone." The spontaneity of her confession surprised Andy, but at the same time it gave him an idea.

"Get ready, we're leaving." he said.

"Where are we going?" she asked as she closed the file and put it in her first drawer.

"It's a surprise." Andy answered in a mysterious tone, giving her his boyish smile.

The firing range was empty at this hour and they were glad that they had the place all for themselves. Andy knew she was proficient, but he never thought she was that skillful. She was as good as a sniper, he thought. Or maybe she was just very angry and for a good reason. One way or another, she hit the target each and every time, mostly around the same spot. If she wanted, she could definitely shoot someone to death with no more than one bullet.

She stopped to reload her gun and cocked it again, barely reacting to the recoil of the gun as she fired. His own shots were miserable, and not because he was bad. She was just so fascinating to watch and as much as he tried, he couldn't concentrate on his targets. She finished another magazine and his jaw dropped. How she did it so fast, he wondered.

"I think I'm done." she said, not even aware to the fact that he was looking at her. Andy unloaded his gun and locked it.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asked. She nodded slowly and inspected his target.

"You can't be serious." she said as she saw how many shots he missed.

"I wasn't focused." he admitted. "I'm a bit tired."

"How many bullets do you still have in your magazine?" she asked.

"Four or five, maybe." Andy shrugged.

"Shoot them and then we can leave. You know the old trick where you imagine that you're shooting someone you really hate?" she asked and Andy nodded. "It's doesn't work. You have to clear your mind. Don't think of anything. Just concentrate on the target and then shoot." She watched him as he loaded his gun again and released the safety catch. He aimed at his target and took a deep breath, pushing every thought out of his mind and only looking at the spot where he wanted to hit. Slowly, he squeezed the trigger, feeling the recoil of the gun as the bullet left it and hit the target right where he wanted. He did it again and again until he ran out of bullets. "See?" Sharon smiled.

"Thanks for the tip. I'm sure it would come in handy one of these days." he replied as he took the magazine out of his gun and locked it again. Gently, he took her hand. It was a random action and he expected her to flinch and pull her hand back, but she surprised him by coming closer to him. She gazed into his eyes for a long moment, not moving away and as she closed them, he felt her lips brushing against his. Andy was surprised, but spread his lips open to accept hers, gently drawing them to his. He could hear her breath speeding and she pulled away abruptly.

"I'm sorry," she covered her mouth with her hand. "I thought I was ready, but…"

"Flashbacks?" Andy asked. She nodded. "It's okay. We can wait until you are ready." His voice was soft. He was pretty sure that his mistake with her the first time around was not being considerate of her readiness for a physical relationship. He certainly had no intention of making that mistake twice. "Holding your hand feels great. So maybe we should limit ourselves to that until you're ready to take it one step forward." He offered a comforting smile and brought her hand to his mouth, kissing it tenderly.

"Thank you." Her voice was a broken whisper. They left the range, holding hands. Sharon was quiet. It was so unfair, she thought. She wanted to be with Andy so badly, but the memories from her assault just wouldn't let go. They plagued her intensively, raising tears in her eyes and sickness in her stomach. She never thought she would find herself in such a conflict of the mind and body. Her body ached for Andy, longed for his touch, her soul did too, but his touch made her mind recall Tremblay's hands on her body, painful and unyielding. She could still feel them scorching her skin, even in places he did not touch and her wrist, the one he twisted broken was stricken with phantom pains. She never hated anyone before, not until now and for the first time in her life she could feel the sudden domineering grip of pure, fiery hatred on her heart.


	25. Chapter 25

"This is ridiculous!" Sharon declared and started throwing the pillows that Andy put between them backwards, one by one. Andy smiled to himself and she frowned. "I appreciate this," she said and pushed a pillow into his arms, "but we can deal with it. I mean, we are sort of…" She wasn't sure how to finish her sentence. What exactly were they? She wasn't sure where they were standing, especially since they couldn't really do anything more than holding hands. It was frustrating and made her angry.

"Sharon?" She heard Andy's voice. He was looking at her, his eyes worried. "Where is your mind floating?" he asked.

"I'm just… it's nothing. I was just thinking." she replied.

"Do you want to share with me or…" She brought her lips to his, swallowing his words. "You are amazing, you know that?" he asked as they pulled apart.

"I'm not going to let him win." Her voice was almost a whisper. She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing his body close to her. "I want to be able to love you and feel you without feeling his hands." Andy recognized that single-minded gaze in her eyes. He loved it, it was powerful.

"That's great that you…" She sealed his lips with hers, her fingers dug into his hair, gently massaging his scalp. He felt her shudder in his arms, but she didn't pull away. Her mouth entangled with his and a barely-audible moan escaped from her lips as he tightened his arms around her waist.

"Oh, my God, I did not just see that!" Rusty's voice made them pull apart at once. Andy could see panic registering on Sharon's face.

"I'm gonna…" her voice was faint as she chased Rusty down the hall. He entered the guest room and closed the door behind him. "Rusty, I wanna talk to you. Please open the door." Sharon said. Her heart was pounding. Rusty opened the door, he looked pale and annoyed. Sharon went into the room and took a seat on the bed. So did Rusty. "I… I don't really know how to begin," she said.

"I really don't want to have this talk." Rusty retorted.

"But we will have this talk." Sharon replied. "I want to know how you feel about Andy and me."

"It's not fair." Rusty's eyes were sad.

"I'm sorry that you feel this way." Sharon said. "I like Andy a lot."

"That's not what I meant. I don't care who you date, but you keep acting like I'm not involved. You don't tell me anything anymore." he blamed her.

"That's not true." she responded.

"Yes, it is. You didn't tell me that you were dating that ugly-faced realtor, you lied to me when he tried to rape you and now you tried to hide your relationship with Andy." Rusty's voice was angry.

"Rusty, I wanted to protect you, at least when it came to Tremblay" she said. "But the relationship with Andy is actually a new thing."

"How new?" Rusty squinted.

"Very new. From tonight, actually." Sharon explained, "I didn't get the chance to tell you. We would have told you tomorrow morning if you haven't walked in on us."

"You're lying." Rusty retorted. "Andy was jealous when you were dating that idiot. He must have had a good reason."

"Andy and I were on and off for a while, around the time that I started seeing Tremblay but we weren't a couple." Sharon explained.

"So now you are?" Rusty asked.

"As of tonight we are." She smiled. "And it's important that we keep it between us, okay? Andy is my subordinate and we could lose our jobs."

"If it's against the rules, why are you doing this?" Sharon breaking the rules was a concept that defied Rusty's logic.

"Did you ever fall in love, Rusty?" she asked, knowing it was a forward question to direct at him. He shook his head slowly. "Well, love just changes everything in a way that I can't really explain. Of course love is not a reason to break the rules, but he makes me happy and with everything I've been through recently, I think I'm entitled to some happiness."

"You are, Sharon." Rusty replied. "And I like Andy. The two of you even kinda fit together, when you think about it."

"I'm glad you feel this way." Sharon smiled. "And feel free to come to either one of us if you need anything. I am always there for you and Andy is too."

"I do have one little thing." Rusty said. Sharon nodded slowly as if to say she was listening. "Please close the door the next time the two of you make out. Seeing the two of you kissing… I'm scarred for life, seriously."


	26. Chapter 26

Andy was sitting on the couch in the living room and watching a baseball game when Sharon opened the door and went into the house. He scanned her with his eyes and she seemed to notice it, because she leaned above him and threw a flirtatious gaze into his eyes before dropping a quick kiss on his lips.

"Where have you been?" He asked, gently pulling her into his arms.

"I went to a support group meeting" she replied and took a seat next to him.

"You didn't tell me you were attending a support group."

"I wasn't sure I wanted to go. My therapist recommended it but I felt…" she faltered.

"How was it?" Andy asked, taking her hand.

"It was…" Sharon struggled for words. "It wasn't easy to listen to the stories."

"Did you tell them yours?" Andy had his share of support group meetings and he knew how difficult it could be to speak in such a meeting for the first time.

"I couldn't." She shrugged as tears rose in her eyes, getting caught in her lashes.

"It's good that you went." Andy squeezed her hand, gently pulling her into an embrace. She nuzzled into his shoulder and he could feel her slow breaths against the skin of his neck. Her lips slowly travelled up his neck, lingering at his jaw before reaching his mouth. She didn't know what it was about him that made kissing him so painful and so comforting at the same time. It was as if her past and present collided every time her lips touched his and made her feel so whole and so shattered at the same time. Tears were rolling down her face, falling into their mouths, turning their kiss briny. Andy gently soaked her tears into the sleeve of his shirt when the pulled away from each other. "You should keep going to meetings. It probably seems useless now, but it will not feel this way in the future." She nodded slowly. Gently bending down, Andy's fingers slid down her calf to her ankle and removed one of her pumps, then did the same with the other. "Lean back" he said and put her feet on his lap. "I can't believe you're standing on these all day long. It must be putting so much pressure on your back." His fingers gently massaged her foot, slowly unraveling the tension in her body, extorting hums of pleasure from her mouth. Suddenly, she leaped off the couch, swiftly bringing her hand to her mouth as she sprinted to the bathroom. Andy's heart sank. Not again, he thought as he followed her. He found her crouching on the floor, in front of the toilet bowl and he kneeled down next to her, gathering her hair and pulling it away from her face. He rubbed her back in circular motions as she gagged and vomited the content of her stomach, which wasn't much. Andy grabbed a washcloth and handed it to her.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I keep ruining every good moment that we have together."

"Hey, you come with your baggage, I come with mine. We both have our past and some of the stuff we've experienced will be carried with us into our future" Andy said, his tone soft.

"I can't see the future anymore" Sharon sighed, tears flowing from her eyes again. "I used to have it all planned out, but it's just so blurry now." She leaned her head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart through his shirt.

"I can see the future. I can see it for the both of us, okay?" Andy said. "And in this future you are going to be like Giselle." His words made her raise her head from his chest and look into his eyes.

"Like Giselle?" her voice was hoarse, broken and hopeless.

"Yes. She was hurt by men but she still found the strength to move on, despite the Wilis who tried to make her sink into their darkness. She refused, right?" Sharon knew it was a rhetorical question, but she nodded anyway. "And by refusing to engulf herself in darkness, she became free. You will overcome this darkness and you will become free" Andy said, giving her a moment to ponder upon his metaphor. "You are already doing the work. You're seeing a therapist, you're going to support group meetings, you are having a relationship. You are saying 'no' to the Wilis each and every day in dozens of different ways." A smile started forming on her lips. It was a wet smile, but a smile nonetheless. She knew right there and then that she loved him and whether or not her future was Wili-free, Andy was going to be in it as well.


	27. Chapter 27

Andy lied awake in bed, looking at Sharon in the dark. Now that the wall of pillows between them was gone, she nestled at his side. His arm was loosely wrapped around her waist. She didn't want it to be any tighter, he knew. Her hair was spread around her head on the pillow like a glorious, auburn crown; a few long and soft strands fell on her face, covering her closed eyes. Her breath was slow, rhythmic. She seemed calm, quiet at last. His heart beat fast and he tried to find words to describe his feelings, so he could explain them to himself. He felt intangible warmth spreading inside his body, making him restless and tranquil at the same time. Looking at her in her sleep, being able to smell her, to touch her, to feel the warmth of her body next to him had filled his heart, made his head float, yet grounded him as well. He had no doubt – it was love; deep, encompassing and utter love. It's been years since he felt this way towards a woman. He loved other women before and after his ex-wife, but never with such intensity. Somehow his love for Sharon felt stronger, more genuine than any love he ever experienced before. Lack of sleep could drive him crazy, staring into the darkness, thoughts invading his sleepless mind, but not tonight. He wouldn't mind staying awake all night and looking at her, studying every single wrinkle on her skin, every lash, every hair on her head, the shape of her lips, every breath she took – it was all perfect. He could barely contain the immense feeling, it was pleasantly overwhelming.

He wanted to wake her with a kiss in the morning, wrap his arms around her slender waist, dig his fingers into her hair, and feel her body against his. Things appeared to be getting better recently. The support group meetings seemed to have helped her cope with her horrific experience. She smiled more often; she would go out for runs with the dog, drive Rusty to school. They even went to the cinema the previous evening and made out throughout most of it, like a couple of hormone-drenched teenagers.

He looked forward to the time she would feel ready to sleep with him. He imagined the moment, played it out in his mind – what she would say, how he would react, how he would touch her, and the way they would lie together in the afterglow. He wanted it to be special, for both of them. He wanted it to be something to remember. He had hosted quite a few girls in his bed, practiced all the right moves, knew how to make a woman feel happy and content – he was a pro at getting women in between his sheets, but he had no desire at all to do the same with Sharon. He wanted it all to be brand new, fresh – almost as if it was their first time ever. Fantasizing of that was probably silly and childish, to say the least, but he took pleasure in it anyway, until he could get that moment for real.

He tried to recall when he started feeling like this towards her, when that sneaky buddy called cupid shot his heart with one of his arrows. Their paths crossed a few times even before he transferred to Major Crimes from Robbery/Homicide. She investigated some of his "Use of Force" charges, read his personal file quite a few times, but she was a wall flower back then; just another boring, insignificant woman who thought she knew the things he had to face with as a cop. He knew it wasn't back then. She wasn't even that pretty back then, he thought. She was just simple, and hidden behind a wall he had no intention to try and break. When did he start thinking of her differently? he wondered. He didn't even like her all that much before she shot that beanbag gun and hit that criminal between the eyes. It was that time in the shower, he knew. That time he walked in on her and instead of being mad she started laughing. Her giggling – that was what made his heart pound that day. He wondered what her moment was – the one that made her fall for him. That would make a great subject for an afterglow talk; he smiled as he imagined it in his mind.

He wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but the first rays of sun invaded the room and woke him up. Sharon was an early riser, but she was still asleep, almost in the same position she was when Andy fell asleep. He looked at her, his lips curving up in a smile. In the early daylight she looked magical, glowing, angelic. Her auburn hair looked almost golden and the shade of her usually pale skin looked vivid, her heavy, dark lashes threw a soft shadow under her eyes. He knew that she set the alarm in her phone before she went to sleep. It usually rang the 1st movement of Elgar Cello Concerto Op. 85 and even though he was quite shocked by the music when he first heard it, it eventually grew on him.

"Don't listen to it as just another boring classical piece," Sharon explained to him one day. "Go beyond that, just close your eyes and feel it." He did as he was told. He let the vibrations of the wind and string instruments encompass him. The sound penetrated his soul, reverberated in his mind and filled him with despair and torment. The tension in the piece was built gradually and eventually crushed almost violently. It was a haunting and devastating piece, he thought. He could understand why Sharon found a connection to this piece, especially with everything she's been through.

Now he looked at her, sleeping peacefully and he wanted to make sure that the heart-wrenching concerto will not be the sound that she wakes up to; at least not this morning. He leaned forward and softly brushed his lips against hers.

"Good morning, beautiful" he said as her eyelids fluttered open. She snuggled close to him, burying her face under his chin, her lips grazing his neck and her eyelids fluttering against his skin. He wrapped his arm around her, relishing her warmth, her nearness. She moaned sleepily and he could feel the vibration of her lips against his neck. It was arousing and he took a deep breath and tried to calm down. It was a perfect moment and he didn't want to ruin it or worse, make her shy away from him. Just then, her alarm went off, filling the room with the depressing yet powerful sound of strings. Sharon stretched her body, arching her back. She leaned on her elbow and looked into his eyes. His gaze was deep, meaningful and she let herself drown in it, encompassing herself with the sound of the concerto. It was the soundtrack of her life, she thought. Losing hope and then finding it in the most unexpected places. Her lips needed no guidance; they found his lips in no-time and captured them, their tongues slowly glided into each other's mouths, sometimes deep and slow, other times quickly eluding back into their respective mouths. They moaned and sighed into the kiss, swallowing each other's sounds. Andy felt even more turned on than before. His member would be standing erect in moments, he knew, and she would flinch, cringe to the other side of the bed. He drew away from her, his lips lingering on hers for another moment, savoring them. "We have a big day today" he said and quickly slipped out of bed. Sharon squinted, trying to remember what made this day so big.

"What's happening today?" she asked, giving up.

"Well, you have the day off" Andy said. "Taylor gave it to you, because the squad had a surprise for you and Rusty." He walked over to her side of the bed and turned the alarm clock off. "I'm gonna go to the shower and you should wake the kid in the meantime. It's probably going to take you that long." He grinned at her before leaving the room.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: This is the last chapter and it's **rated M**. I hope you enjoyed this story and that if you have, I hope that you will take similar pleasure in this chapter. I thank you all for your continuous support, for your comments and messages.

* * *

Andy took Sharon's hand and led her gently down the hall. It took him nearly half an hour to convince her to allow him to cover her eyes with a scarf. He left her standing there and led Rusty whose eyes were also covered to the same spot. He smiled to himself and dropped a small kiss on Sharon's lips.

"We're almost there" he said, feeling the tension in the air. Both Rusty and Sharon were uncomfortable with covering their eyes, but eventually they chose to put their trust in him. They heard a creak and a crinkle and felt Andy moving away from there. Andy first took Sharon's hand, leading her through a door. She could feel that they were in a room that was rather small. She felt Rusty's shoulder rub against hers. "Are you two ready?" Andy asked.

"As ready as we'll ever be" Sharon replied.

"You can remove the scarves" Andy's voice was excited. Sharon and Rusty sent their hands and pulled the scarves over their heads.

"Surprise!" It took Sharon and Rusty a moment to recognize where they were. It was Sharon's living room and her squad was standing in the middle of it, looking exceptionally cheerful. The Christmas tree was gone and the couch was pushed backwards in order to make room for the entire squad. Sharon and Rusty looked around them. The walls were repainted and the curtains and couch were clean. The last time they had seen this room, everything was covered with soot that stuck to the soles on their feet.

"Oh, my goodness." Sharon fought the tears that rose in her eyes. "You all did this?" She wrapped her arms around Andy, and then moved on to hug Sykes and Tao. Julio seemed embarrassed when she wrapped her arms around him and Buzz seemed somewhat relieved. She stood in front of Provenza who gave her an alarming gaze. She stuck out her lower lip and raised her brow in a way that gave her the look of an adorable puppy.

"Oh, you manipulative…" Provenza sent out his hand to shake hers. That was all the Captain was going to get out of him, he thought crankily. It seemed to satisfy her and she offered him a winning smile. Rusty still stood there, dumbstruck.

"I can't believe you did this for us" Sharon said. "Thank you so much. You are incredible, each and every one of you."

"It wasn't our idea, Captain. It was Flynn who came up with this" Tao admitted.

"My house started feeling a bit overcrowded." Flynn shrugged and offered her a boyish grin. She squinted, knowing it was a show for the squad. She could play pretend too. In fact, she wouldn't have it any other way. She enjoyed having her very own little secret.

* * *

Sharon filled the bathtub with steaming water and added some bath salt. Normally she would light some scented candles, but one fire was enough. She could relax without seeing it. Actually, she would feel much more relaxed if she didn't see any fire around her. She slipped out of her robe and sat in the bathtub, leaned back and closed her eyes. Andy only had a walk-in shower in his houses and she didn't realize how much she yearned for taking a long, steaming bath. Being home again felt good and she was happy to be in her natural surrounding. Maybe now her life could go back to normal, she thought. She couldn't believe it's been three months since the fire, two months since her assault, three days since Tremblay signed the deal that sent him for twelve years in prison and five years of probation. The thought of him made her skin crawl and she shook her head as if to shoo the thought, spraying some water as her head swayed from side to side. Deciding to fill her head with positive thoughts, she closed her eyes again and took a deep breath, thinking of Andy, of his lips pressed against hers, of his arms around her waist. It made her quiver, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She let out a sigh. And then it struck her; she would be sleeping alone tonight and Andy was not there to hold her if she had a nightmare. He was not there to kiss her goodnight, his smell was not on her pillows and she would not feel his warmth next to her. Suddenly the water around her body felt cold, even though they were steaming just moments ago. She knew it wasn't the water that cooled down but the fact that he was not there with her in that bathtub. What seemed to be a simple pleasure was not gratifying if Andy was not around her to share it. She leaped out of the bathtub, almost slipping down on the floor. She grabbed the clean clothes she had prepared in advance and put them on without even bothering to dry herself. The mint colored tank top stuck to her wet skin and became wet and she could barely pull up her tights on her moist skin. She didn't even bother brushing her hair and it left damp stains on her shirt. She put on her flip flops and stormed out of the bathroom, grabbing her car keys and her mobile phone on the way out of her apartment.

* * *

The Elgar Cello Concerto 1st Movement was playing around the house and Andy sank into the couch, letting the music fill the emptiness that was created by Sharon and Rusty's departure. He didn't like classical music or the ballet before Sharon tiptoed into his life, into his bedroom, into his heart and mind, into his body and soul. She was everywhere in his house, her scent still remained in the air, her voice still echoed in between the walls, the tears she shed soaked into the pillows, her footmarks were still visible on the carpet. It was as if her spirit still lingered in the hall. And the goddamn dog! He threw a glance at Malin, who was sitting on his couch, her head resting on his knee. Sharon and Rusty left her with him until they got settled. He liked the dog, but she reminded him of Sharon or her absence, to be more accurate.

The music encompassed him, penetrated his soul, filled him, made him think of nothing but Sharon and it pained him. He could feel as if the cello pinched his heart, grabbed it and plucked it out of his chest. His eyes were slowly filling up with tears. Suddenly he heard knocks on the door and before he had the chance to get off the couch and open it, they became frantic.

"Andy, open the door. It's me" he heard her voice; it sounded almost distressed, as if she was gasping for air. He ran to the door and opened it in a swift movement. She stood there, her hair and clothes damp and her face wet with either water or tears, he wasn't sure which. He managed to sneak a gaze outside to check if it was raining before her lips pressed against him forcefully. Her arms grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to her. "I love you." The words came out of her mouth as a cry. She pushed her body against his and thrust him into the house, her fingers fondling with the buttons on his shirt. He broke the kiss and gently pulled away from her, creating some physical distance between them.

"Sharon, did anything happen?" he asked worriedly.

"I was in the shower and I thought of you," her words flowed out of her mouth in a fast pace. "I couldn't think of anything but you and I realized… I realized that I wanted you. I wanted to feel you, because I can't breathe if you are not with me and…" she stopped and looked into his eyes. "I want to make love to you." Her words surprised Andy and she could see it on his face.

"Are you sure about it?" he asked.

"As sure as the sky is blue" she said, her mouth descending to his. Andy kicked the door shut and wrapped his hands around her waist; his fingers went up and down her back.

"You really did leap out of the shower, did you?" he asked into her lips and she confirmed with a hum. "Let's get you out of those wet clothes, Ms. Archimedes" he grinned as his fingers slid under her wet tank top and pulled it above her head. She wasn't wearing a bra and he smiled to himself.

"What?" she seemed to notice it.

"I'm surprised that you remembered to put **anything **on before you left the house, although I have the feeling you would run naked through the streets and scream 'eureka' if you could" he chuckled.

"I most certainly would" she exclaimed. "The love I feel for you is just as big as Archimedes' discovery."

"I'm flattered" Andy smiled and wrapped his arm around her half-naked body and lifted her in his arms.

"What are you doing?" she let out a surprised giggle.

"I'm taking you to bed" he replied as he walked down the hall to his bedroom.

"You're going to stretch a muscle in your back this way" she called out, but her voice was amused.

"There's nothing to it" he said as he gently laid her down on his bed. He stood above her, appreciating the fullness of her bare breasts. She reached out and took his hand, laced her fingers with his and pulled him towards her. Her fingers unbuttoned his shirt and then slid under his undershirt, pushing it upwards. He removed his shirt, throwing it backwards and leaned down on top of her, capturing her lips as his hand slid down and cupped her breast. His fingers massaged her nipple and she arched her back and moaned into the kiss. His lips abandoned hers and went down her neck, sucking on the skin there for a while before going further down until they reached her other breast. His fingers worked efficiently around one nipple as his lips surrounded the other, slowly and tantalizingly sucking on it, feeling her body tensing in anticipation under him. Deliberately, he emitted a long and slow hum and the vibration it sent through her body made her shudder under him. She could feel a familiar tickle in the bottom of her belly. It's been years since the last time she felt it, real and burning arousal. She let out a surprised moan that Andy interpreted as approval to continue. His hand left her breast and glided down her body, stopping at the hem of her tights. "So I'm kinda wondering…" he smiled against her nipple and his teeth grazed it as he spoke, "are you wearing any underwear under this?" playfully sliding his fingers under the band of her tights.

"Aren't you just dying to know?" she teased back.

"You have no idea." He lowered his head, kissing his way down and taking the band of her tights between his teeth. She arched her brow. Was he really going to take her pants off with his teeth?

"As much as I appreciate the effort, it might be more efficient to remove them with your hands" she suggested.

"I'm just messing around with you," he grinned and his fingers slowly pulled her pants down, his lips descending back to kiss her skin. "Ha! No panties…" he smiled against her skin. "Never took you for that kind of girl."

"Disappointed?" she wondered. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes.

"Not at all," he shrugged. "Actually, it makes my job so much easier, less garments standing in the way to our happy ending."

THE END


End file.
